Monday, June 28, 2010

10 way to tell if you're dating a vampire




10. Your date demands the manager invite the both of you into the Burger King.

9. He\She has their drapes padlocked.

8. Has photographs of their self taped in front of all their mirrors.

7. Has an odd phobia of lower case 'T's.

6. Won't kiss you goodnight after you've eaten Papa John's Garlic Butter Sauce.

5. Always insists on bringing their own Bloody Mary mix to bars.

4. Often engages in diatribes about how things were in "their day."

3. Makes veiled statements about Tom Cruise not accurately portraying him.

2. Loves L L Cool J

1. Laughs at the suggestion of Kristen Stewart portraying "the living".

21 comments:

  1. Number #7 is hilarious!! Made me laugh out loud.

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  2. "U" of all people, on the Twilight Bandwagon.....Tsk Tsk, what is the World coming to ;/ But loved the 1,3, and 9th reasons....U never fail to disappoint. ;P

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  3. Lower case T's, lol. Notice you didn't say lower case 't's... perhaps you also need an invitation to enter BK...

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  4. Ok I have to "bite" here, what is the significance of LL Cool J.

    And here's 1a)...Doesn't realize that Kristen Stewart is a dude.

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  5. I am taking this list on my next date. Thanks! By the way, he wants to know if I have big veins. Do you have any idea why he would ask such a thing?

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  6. That's pretty darn funny! LL Cool J?

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  7. Well, Kristen Stewart is pretty cute, but she is soooo pale...maybe she IS dead??

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  8. I always made it a point to eat Papa John's Garlic Butter Sauce before going on any date. You can never be too safe.

    But once, when I was a teenager, I dated a 96 year old woman who constantly referred to things in "her day." Should I have been worried, TS? Should I? I don't want to make the same mistake twice.

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  9. Hmm, Jason just has three out of ten of these attributes, so I'm cool, right?

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  10. I love the one about taping a picture of themselves in front a mirror. good stuff.

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  11. Thank God I'm married. Dating is such a danger these days!

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  12. Rekha, thanks, I don't really like Twilight, which is why is seemed perfect fodder.

    Geof & Pat, I asked my brother if he wanted to add a couple to the list and he popped up with LL Cool J. It was so bizarre I had to put it.

    Rep, I think if you start dating you should be more worried about your wife than a vampire.

    Nikki, there is definitely an argument for marriage. lol

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  13. 5 should be #1. Hilarious!! Letterman quality my friend.

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  14. another way to tell... if he has a large "family" and none of them look anything alike!

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  15. TS, I don't think Susan has a big problem with me dating 96 year old women or vampires.

    At least she's never mentioned it.

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  16. This is a great list. Number 6, ha ha and loves LL Cool J!? You're a riot!

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  17. This is bloody good stuff, TS. I especially like #5. I missed you and your blog this week. Time for me to play some ketchup, er catch up.
    xoRobyn

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  18. You had me at Burger King, brilliant work here my friend!

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