Mr. Pry Merry
(Ankylosaurus - Herbivore)
I am here to announce my candidacy for President. As many of you may know, I am Mr. Pry Merry, and I am a member of The Dinosaur Party. Now, even though I believe that my fossil record speaks for itself, I will still say a few words this morning. America needs my help. Make no bones about it, we need to get back to the bare bones. First of all, I pledge to massively increase the budget of NASA’s NEO program. NASA routinely scans outer space for NEOs (Near Earth Objects) that have the potential to collide with earth. This program will have our party’s full support. Next, I think the government should provide tax breaks to all vegetarians. We live 30% longer, and we get sick 60% less often, and so we decrease healthcare costs by 90%. Sure, I just made those numbers up, but the constitution gives us freedom of speech, not accuracy. Besides, America is too lazy to check my numbers, and anyway my point is made. Thank you for your support.
Whoever thinks veg is healthy is joking....just look at his size....and hell I am not even beginner scaly. I do like the NASA part, better than bombing. But Perry The Scaly is not for me.
ReplyDeleteYou would have my vote, but sorry, I don't live in the states. :) I love the part about making up the stats :)
ReplyDeletefuzzy math.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't vote for him, but I'd pay to listen to his comic routine.
ReplyDeleteMust be that "new" math! He must eat a TON of veggies....
ReplyDeleteI like him!!!
ReplyDeleteYou pick great names for your candidates. I think NASA is a colossal waste of money so I am sorry, you won't be getting my vote. Also, I don't care if something hits the earth. I'm ready to leave this popcicle stand. I'm leaning towards the environment guy.
ReplyDeletepro-NASA = I like this guy
ReplyDeletealso made up numbers are always good
He had me at his name alone. Plus his math skills are reminiscent of mine. Nicely done.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn