Thursday, February 18, 2010

10 sports that should be a part of the next winter Olympics

10. Polar bear hot dog eating contest - Contestants sit naked in a foot of icy water and eat as many hot dogs as they can.

9. Snowball tennis - A light hand is required to stop the ball from going through the racquet.

8. Favreball - Like football, except it must be played in a blizzard, and all games must have Brett Favre.

7.Speed stalking - A man and a woman, 1 must chase the other on the ice till they are caught. Clothing optional.

6. Snow cone making - Fresh powder is good for more than skiing. Just be wary of the yellow snow.

5. Nipllies - Men and Women's tournaments. Contestants run out of a hot building and see how far they can get before their nipples go rock hard.

4. Toddler curling - Toddlers are put into special warm sports suits and curled by their parents down the ice.

3. Shovels - Let's see who can clear my driveway the fastest. Seriously I'm running late.

2. Stoneballs - 6 people, 6 snowballs, 1 rock.

1. Duck, duck, icicle - Participants ski down a hill as icicles are launched. Must duck, bob, and weave.


  1. I'm in for toddler curling. Do we get to bbq them for a post game celebration?

  2. I'm betting the curled toddlers could clear your driveway the fastest. Of course, you'd be taking of chance of having a yellowed driveway afterwards. But when you gotta get to work, you gotta get to work.

    You're very funny and creative, TS.


  3. They make hot dogs out of polar bears now? Oh, wait...

  4. Is the Polar Bear Hot Dog Eating Contest a euphemism?

    Will they retire Favreball every season, and the bring it back right before the Olympics start?

    Can I judge the Niplies competition?

    Does the pregnant curler on the Canadian Women's Curling team get extra points for Toddler Curling?

  5. AsBlack, No, yes, maybe if you're qualified, aaannnd yes. lol


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