Wednesday, February 17, 2010

In Depth: Bacon vs Sausage


VS




Bacon


Pros:
  • Band-aid of the meat world
  • Good for breakfast
  • Goes with eggs
  • Crispity-Crunchity
  • Energetic
  • Long and hard
  • Works as a ruler
  • Tastes good on everything
  • Once saved a child that was drowning
Cons:
  • Flaky personality
  • Fattening
  • Tastes good on everything
  • Burns easily
  • Wanted for murder
  • Synonymous with police
  • Sits in the freezer waiting to clog your sink
  • Racist

Sausage

Pros:
  • Good for breakfast
  • Goes with eggs
  • Multitasker
  • Don't need teeth to eat
  • Like a warm lunch meat
  • Some kinds taste like maple syrup
  • In link form can be used as a rope
  • Once saved an old lady from a burning building

Cons:
  • Fattening
  • Calls you up late at night
  • Loves to be inside of you
  • Lazy
  • Synonymous with the police
  • Looks like excrement
  • Tells it like it is
I would say it's pretty clear that bacon is the better pork product. From its dynamic personality to its humanitarian works, bacon strives to be the meat in your mouth. Don't feel too bad sausage, with innovations like maple flavoring, you too might one day have a chance at the crown.

13 comments:

  1. I would eat bacon right off the pig if I could...

    Love your blog....

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  2. ROFL! Yes, that would be awesome.

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  3. I love bacon the best, but sausage has the unique ability to be rolled up inside a flapjack or a piece of toast to be used as an aid to mop up the rest of the breakfast.

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  4. Taste aside, I like the look of sausage better, because it's more difficult to see the fat that I'm killing myself with.
    But I've never done a side by side comparison. Thanks for that. My life has more meaning now.

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  5. This is too funny. Have you ever tried chicken sausage? I'm addicted to it, much healthier. I'm actually really diggin' this blueberry chicken sausage for breakfast, it's so weird, yet so good!

    Bacon egg and cheese on a hard roll is heaven though when not dieting. :)

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  6. You are so right. I would rather have a breakfast meat that is honest with me than one who calls me 'honkey' behind my back.

    And just so you know..that child that bacon saved from drowning was a kid he had pushed in the water to begin with. It was all a show for the media.

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  7. @Ally, yes I have, I also like the turkey sausages.

    @Cal, Yeah but the elderly woman in the burning building that sausage saved was in a fire set by sausage.

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  8. Ever see Jim Gaffigan's stand up about bacon? it's superb, goes great with a side of your blog.
    Love your blog.

    I did a marshmallow fluff pros and cons on my blog. Good to know there are other clever bloggers out there.

    http://reviewsyoucantuse.blogspot.com

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  9. I love Gaffigan. Great comedian.

    That's pretty funny, one of my first reviews was of marshmallows. There must be something in the great collective that has been begging them to be taken to task.

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  10. You really should have "taste good on everything" in the pro column....but then again it is pretty clear how I feel about bacon.

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  11. It's in the pros column as well. It's in the Con's because of the calories.

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  12. The 'band-aid' line is fantastic/gross. Big fan of that line.

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