Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Non-Review: The Crazies - Reviewed by Sister Anna Lucile

It's no secret that I'm a fan of George A. Romero. Here in the convent I'm alone in my love of his genius. It's something I have been ostracized for. Sister Brigitta for instance. She argues that all of his movies basically have the same hopeless ending. But then she's obsessed with Japanese horror movies. And I don't mean the good ones either.

At any rate when I was asked to preview a remake of the 1973 film, The Crazies, I stepped away from the Masters of Horror puzzle I was working on, and put on my going out shawl. I warned the nice man who drove me that I would be a harsh judge. I love the absolute brilliance of the original, with it's subtext about the military and abuse of power. It seemed like the kind of story that could easily be adapted to current times.

The movie opened with more of a light touch than I would have expected. It really takes the time to build the plot before all hell breaks loose. Timothy Olyphant seemed an odd choice to fill the shoes left by Will MacMillan, as I've always found Olyphant to be a bit of a prick. However he does a perfunctory job. Radha Hill however in the role of Judy, I would like to give a good slap. Though to be fair that probably had more to do with the character.

Now you know I'm all about the violence. The bloodier the picture the better. This is where the film let me down. After building a nice base for the horror, it quickly shifts gears away from the original by changing tempo. In the original there was creepiness from some of the bizarre behavior the crazies exhibit as they're slowly succumbing. Here everything is exaggerated to a point of unreality. I like my horror believable. In many ways this reminded me more of a Stephen King riff on a Romero film, than a straight remake.

I will say this, there was plenty of blood. The stories I brought back to the convent made several of the sisters want to see the film. You know what this film did though? It reminded me how much I miss the gratuitous blood on the camera lens shot that used to be in every horror film for awhile.

Over all the film is an ok movie, but doesn't really deserve to be in the same category as the original. I can't see it making itself into my 'Favorite Horrors' quilt I've been sewing on for the past 20 years. If I were you I'd wait for video.

The Crazies: 4 out of 10

8 comments:

  1. It's a remake? Hmmm... I know I can't watch this one based on the commercials, but maybe I can make it through an older version... because I'm curious

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  2. The image left in my mind is the "favorite horrors quilt." Now, that would be a thing to see.
    A swatch of Pinhead here, a square of Wolfman there, a triangle of Leatherface there, some Chucky pipiing along the edges...

    I don't think we'll be seeing that one on QVC.

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  3. It's these crazy bitches that always get paroled from the Convent and end up teaching at Catholic school. As a student they terrorized me and as a teacher they came in two types - the ones who partied their assess off (true story) and the ones who kept the staff meeting going an extra three hours because of their religious balloon juice. I remember one guy got so annoyed he actually yelled out...FUCK SISTER...EITHER SHIT OR GET OF THE POT!

    WV - COVEN

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  4. Sister Anna Lucile is a closet Doom player, no?

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  5. @Cal, I've known Sister Anna Lucile (made up) for some time, and she's one of the best teachers an imaginary class could have.

    Joe, Si. lol

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  6. Count me as someone who will not see this. I am a huge Romero fan and have been for a majority of my life but I wasn't even that crazy about the original.

    Why does Anna Lucille sound like it could be a real nun's name?

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  7. Ahh Sister AL. Stern with the ruler, but kind with her heart, and a decent movie reviewer.

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  8. I'm going to have to go against god on this one.... I'm still going to have to take a chance on 'The Crazies'.... The title is calling to me.

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