Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ask a Moth riding a Cow vol. 2

Dear Moth Riding a Cow,

I want to be a standup comedian. The trouble is, I can't find any place that'll let me perform. I sign up for all the auditions and such, but evertime I hear the same ting. Your not edgy enough for comedy. Why dont you get a job as an english proffessor? I thinkg I'm funny. How can I convince they to let comedy?

Smart and funny, in Pheonix

Dear... oh dear,

Have you ever heard of a grammar and spell check? You know what, never mind that now. Listen, your story is a very familiar one. It's something I've heard a thousand times before, from a thousand different young men and women. How can I be more edgy with my comedy? I'll tell you the same thing I tell them. I don't give a flying f- oh look Cow's here!

Marty the Moth


  1. Moth riding a cow really gives some incredible advice, but a part of me wonders what the cow has to say in all of this.

    I say this, because I was writing a poem for my website and I asked him, "Hey Cow, what rhymes with poo?" And you better believe he knew the answer.

  2. lol.

    HOW you manage to maintain your humor in the midst of ALL that's gone on with you lately, beats me.... but i'm glad you are able to do so.... =)

  3. I'm with Ashley, maybe this was done by TS's contributor who may not even be from TN?

  4. I like that moth. He tells it straight and doesn't suger coat it like your mom does. He doesn't care who he hurts with his opinions. He believes it is better to know now that your comedy sucks than to waste the time it would take for you to realize it for yourself.

    Yup. That moth is alright.

  5. OH, TS! How can I express my love for this post enough? Now tell me true, was I your inspiration for the grammar part?

    Ya know, my husbands nick is Cow...I can relate to that Moth like a Moth er uh...Oh look, Cow's home.

  6. So what Ashley and Ally are saying is that the REAL TS could have been lost in the flood and they have replaced him with a faux TS? (a TS 1000 if you will)

    If that is true then we may have stumbled onto a huge conspiracy here.

    We know too much already. The conspirators will be coming after us next to keep their secret safe.

    Movie of the Week - 'They Cloned TS's Brain'.

  7. Well of course they will Cal...they have reputations at stake.

  8. Does the cow even know the moth is riding him? Wouldn't all that cowhide prevent the cow from feeling something as light as a moth? you're gonna tell me that moths can actually talk, too.

  9. Thank you folks. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitresses.

  10. That was highly creative considering the recent watering adventure you've been on...

  11. On behalf of Cal, I am here to announce that he, and his caveman ways, will no longer be available to comment on this, or any other blog. He has ... gone away. For an indefinite period of time. And no, that black van with tinted windows has nothing to do with this. And--
    *What? Her too? Yes sir.*
    On an unrelated note, Cotton, and her blossom ways, will also be absent for an undisclosed amount of time. Please do not try--
    *What? Yes, the same van. Just go.*
    There is no cause for concern, and T2 ... sorry, I mean TS, will continue with the Non-Review as always. I would advise any and all people to keep their questions related to the topic at hand. Thank you. That is all.

  12. I'm new here, and I keep checking in to see if TS or that Cotton chick or even that Canadian will drop in and let us know they are ok. So far nothing. I'm out of here, you guys are freaking me out.

  13. It took Anonymous referring me as "that Canadian" and not "THE Canadian" that caused me snap my bonds and dig my way out of the crate they had me buried in.

    Shit just got real and personal bitches!

    I am prepared to squeel like a little girl to any and all media outlets until the real TS produces his real Kenyan birth certificate. (see what I did there? I still got it)

  14. Wow, I was busy on the wrong day. All the exciting stories were here. I can't wait to hear what crazy happening has happened to me next. I'm missing, I'm a robot. Apparently I'm waaaayyyyy cooler than I thought.

    Plus Anonymous stopped by. Love that guy\girl.

    Ally, Yes I wrote this. I wrote it after doing up the flood posts because the water washed away everything except my bizarre sense of humor. Though evidently I'm a terminator now. (SCORE!)

  15. That moth is really selfish and thoughtless riding the cow all the time. Maybe he should let the cow ride him once in awhile? Maybe share some milk instead of drinking it all himself?

  16. TS, you're the Terminator NOW? You have ALWAYS been the Terminator. Find me if you want to live. (see what I did there again?)

  17. That is a good point. But in the words of the Eurythmics:

    "Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused"

    Which I probably wouldn't have thought of if the song hadn't been playing in the background at the moment. But which oddly fits.

  18. Cal, I am a terminator, but I was reprogrammed and sent back to help you fight the octopus uprising.

  19. I know that. I sent you back myself. Plans within plans bitches. Plans within plans.

    I knew I made the right decision to keep the Summer Glau version of the Terminator to myself. That mechanical honeypot is alright.

  20. Cal, I'd argue the point, but apparently you sent me from the future. Enjoy your Glau.

  21. Sounds like moth is getting a little edgy....


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