Friday, August 6, 2010

The 7 Word Weekend Movie Review: The Other Guys, Everest, and one of the worst movies you shouldn't see.

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

The Disappearance of Alice Creed (limited) - My crystal ball says: Basic cable hell.

Flipped (limited) - Insert random pun about it flopping here:__________

Middle Men (limited) - From the people who brought you porn...

The Other Guys - It actually makes Mark Wahlberg look good.

Twelve (limited) - Between you and me, I preferred eleven.

Step Up 3D - I think Gene Kelly said it best.

The first couple ads that came out for The Other Guys left me disinterested. However, the more I see, the better it looks. I like Will Ferrell but for every good movie he does he seems to balance it out with a bad comedy. My real issue though is with Mark Wahlberg. I've never liked him. I have referred to him for years as the poor man's Matt Damon. There's no reason not to like him other than I just don't. But I have to admit he looks absolutely hilarious in this film. Plus I found out Michael Keaton is also in it. That's two movies for him this year (he was in Toy Story 3). Nice to see he's decided to crawl out from under his rock. Maybe he'll stay awhile this time.

With the exception of The Other Guys, it's a pretty empty weekend. I didn't include it in the reviews but also opening this weekend in limited release is The Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest. A film that explores the mysterious death of George Mallory who disappeared in 1924 while climbing Everest. A lot of fine talents lend their voices for narration including Liam Neeson and his late wife Natasha Richardson (this was her last film), Alan Rickman and Ralph Fiennes. It looks like it should be a really interesting film all around.

Awhile back I watched a movie that was so incredibly bad I feel it should be used in film school to teach students how not to make a film. I was going to write up a full review but I forgot until now. Seems as good a time as any to share it.

Her Minor ThingHer Minor Thing stars Michael Weatherly and Estella Warren in a movie about... ... ... Hold on, I'm thinking... Feminism? Well... no... sort of...

Let me start over. Michael Weatherly plays an egotistical news reporter who accidentally spills on air that girlfriend (Warren) is a virgin. Yep, that's pretty much the plot. For the most part the film follows Warren's character as she tries to live down the embarrassment and get back the cruise tickets she paid for that are in her now ex's possession. In the process she becomes a media and cultural phenomenon. Because after all, the idea of someone actually practicing abstinence is beyond comprehension.

Her best friend, played by Rachel Dratch, is a lesbian who hates men. She's thrilled by the idea her friend is inspiring a movement of feminists who, as best as I can tell, would like to see men abolished. Somewhere in this myriad of cliches and way old, generic stereotypes, comedy is attempted (a fat guy with a bucket of KFC runs a gym. Hilarious!) When I say attempted it is only because any laughs it delivers are unintentional, and even those are hard to come by.

Along the way she meets the good guy (Christian Kane) who SPOILER: she will end up with at the end, after some obvious conflict. The movie tries to warn you not to watch it by announcing on its packaging that there are bit parts for Kathy Griffin and Victoria Jackson. The movie is directed by the son of Walter Matthau, who I assume has been spinning in his grave since this film came out 5 years ago. There is nothing to recommend this movie and I found myself several times almost turning it off. But I, having taken the bullet for you fine people, will hopefully have saved a few innocent minds. 0 out of 10

And in case you're wondering if this is one of those "so bad it's good films" the answer is no. I find those usually rate in the 2-4 out of 10 range.

Well that's it for me this week. Have a great weekend everyone.
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  1. Hi TS--I am looking forward to the Everest movie. I think it sounds great!

  2. Thanks for the great tips as always...however I do like Mark Wahlberg.

  3. All good to know.

    Am looking forward to Dinner with Schmucks (is that right?) as well and hope it delivers...


  4. "between you and me i preferred eleven"

    made me LOL for real.

  5. Ok, now I gotta disagree and say I'd much rather see Mark Wahlberg than Will Ferrell, any day!

  6. Hey I wannna get the Shrunken Heads take on The Other Guys.

  7. I always had an interest in that Mallory story so I will be on the lookout for that documentary. Thanks for putting that on my radar. As for watching a bad movie, if I start one I have to finish it. I am also glad you pointed one out that I don't even need to start with. Despite the fact that I hate romcoms, you just never know what they will show on a plane or a bus.

  8. I stop watching movies ALL the time. If I don't turn a bad movie off fast enough, it makes me irritable. Maybe that's your problem, Kal?

    Well TS, This week of non-reviews went by too fast for me. Hurry home, honey.

  9. That is only ONE of my problems Cotton Blossom but after all this time watching movies I know better than to even start with ones that look crappy because I know my policy.

  10. I don't even care about the movies, I just love to see your comments on them! Hilarious...

  11. Oh man, DEFINITELY going to be seeing The Other Guys. Every time I see that ad where Farrel is drinking the water... hilarious!

    The others, eh. NO.

  12. Im out on The Other Guys, and Will Farrell for that matter, they should have left well-enough alone and kept him in SNL hell the rest of his life

  13. When thinking about matt damon or mark wahlberg movies I always mix them up for some reason.


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