10. Look through all the sales papers at things you know you're not actually going to go out for.
9. Make yourself a leftovers sandwich, drive around to stores, sit in the parking lot, and watch the melee.
8. Text random friends about made up deals at various stores. Then show up to watch them get frustrated.
7. Sit in, writing up a list about things to do on Black Friday rather than doing them.
6. Watch a thousand holiday movies while you comatose on the couch.
5. Put on a puppet show with the desiccated turkey carcass.
4. Create an effigy of yourself out of leftovers, then drive yourself around town.
3. Show up at people's houses and ask them why they're not out shopping.
2. Watch Groundhog's Day for the thousandth time and quote along line for for line.
1. Sit inside and do anything but go shopping.