Friday, December 3, 2010

7 Word Weekend Movie Review: Black Swan, Rare Exports, and The Warrior's Way

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

All Good Things (limited) - I've long suspected Gosling was a  murderer.

Black Swan (limited) - Aronofsky is forcing me to watch ballet.

Dead Awake (limited) - This looks like a WB TV movie.

Meskada (limited) - Two Nick Stahl movies, one weekend? Why?

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (limited) - The next great Christmas movie from Finland!

The Warrior's Way - Until cowboys and aliens, this'll make do.

I'm not being harsh on Nick Stahl, I do like him, I just wasn't expecting to see two crappy looking films starring him this weekend. I refuse to stand alone in my judgement though so I ask you to take a look at this poster for Dead Awake and tell me it doesn't look like a one sheet for some new WB show.

I rest my case.

Aronofsky is one of those directors who I'm always willing to give his latest film a watch, because at the very least I know it'll be interesting. Black Swan sounds on all levels like it'll be a great movie. The dark tale about two ballerinas vying for the same lead, holds the promise of thriller that is both gripping and visually stunning. The early word on it from the festivals it played has been exceptional. I have no idea how many screens it'll be playing on, but at the very least, it'll be one to watch for on video. 

Since we're talking about killer limited releases this weekend. Also coming out is Rare Exports, a Finnish tale about... well I can't possibly do it justice. Take a look at the preview for yourself:

Yeah, that's right, a movie about capturing Santa. I've always liked the fact that not all countries have good legends about Santa. In parts of the world, he's a monster; a story told to convince children to be good or else. With as awesome as the film looks, I don't doubt that it won't play around here. Nashville sucks when it comes to seeing limited releases. 

The only wide release this week is The Warrior's Way. Who doesn't like movies about cowboys and ninjas? Sure, sure, there's a plot in there somewhere. A ninja assassin refusing work hides out in an old west town... blah blah blah. I want to see ninjas and cowboys fighting it out in massive battles scenes. If they work a story in, fine, so long as the action doesn't disappoint. Which is of course my main concern with this type of film. I have been burned by too many movies. Anyone remember The Musketeer? The action was supposed to be creative, but I yawned through half of the film before deciding it was too boring to finish.  At least if this movie fails, I can still look forward to Cowboys & Aliens

That's it for me this week. Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. For me, the only must see on the list is The Warrior's Way. It may end up being hokey, but no matter!
    Thanks for the great "non-reviews."

  2. Warrior's Way will be fun in just the context you are looking for, I think.

  3. Warrior's Way will be good if you're wicked drunk.

  4. As long as Jackie Chan doesn't play the ninja.

  5. It sooo looked like a WB show poster. I thought it was a Smallville or supernatural spinoff for a second. Cowboys and Ninjas on the big screen? Together? I'm there dude!!!!

  6. Shame crappy reviews are shooting down The Warrior's Way...

  7. after the shanghai duos...tired of cowboy/martial arts nexus...
    dead that kohl in his eyes??
    its the red outfit and beer belly the Finns hate ...besides he spends more time in U.S and tropics than the north Pole...more reasons to demonise him...

    like your take as always....

  8. 'The Warriors Way' looks pretty terrific although we have all seen it before. I know the script is average when the trailer has the lines - "Is this the end." "No, it's only the beginning."

    That is never a good sign. There has to be a better way to convey the situation the character (s) is/are in without resorting to those two overworked lines. If you want to use them you should assign them a number like, "Number 4?" "No, number 8", and we all would automatically know what the characters are going to say.

    I think that Jeffery Rush will make it twice as cool than it has any right to be, however. I still think one of my favorite back and forths in the movies comes from 'Pirates of the Carribbean'

    Barbossa (Jeffery Rush) - "Thank you Jack"

    Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) - "You're welcome"

    Barbossa - "We named the monkey Jack"

    "Death is only the beginning has to go also." Wow. This has been easy to do. I need about 5 more of these 'lines to never again be used in the movies' to have enough for a post.

    If may seem arrogant but I find Aronofsky as the dividing line between smart movie goers who appreciate a smart story (like 'The Wrestler' or 'The Fountain' or 'Reqiem For A Dream' or 'Trainspotting') and those who demand so much less from their entertainment. For example, Michael Bay or James Cameron may entertain the ten year old in my head but they do nothing towards enriching the 45 year old who stands right beside him.

    Despite how much I love swordplay, 'The Musketeer' was so stupid. I can remember them fighting in that ladder place and I wondered if some really had a store that JUST sold ladders in 17th Century France. If so then were was the frantic storehowner yelling at them to stop.

  9. Props on your WB look alike poster, TS. You did doctor that right? NO???

    Wow, Ckal! In five short years you'll be 50. Better get all the goody out of wearing that loincloth while you can, something tells me you'll have to retire it soon.

    So TS, you know this is my favorite feature here on TNR, so can I tell you how much I *loved* the addition of the preview? LOVED.

    Without having television, I miss all of these previews, and mostly have no idea what you're talking about, when I read the 7 word. (A testimony to your skillz, bro, that I love it anyway.) So watching that clip, really added to the experience.

  10. Nothing to say about the movies this time around....but sitting here beside hubby, while working on my blurfing...and he says "Is that Wilford Brimley?" I had to explain to him what the Brimley Watch 2010 meant.

  11. I have to agree, on the Warriors Way interests me no matter how bad it may end up being. The rest...meh.

  12. I think the only thing that can make the premise of the ninja and cowboy movie better is if there were some samurai and a robot. And who saves them from the ninjas at the end of the day? PIRATES!!! :D

  13. COTTON!!!!! You are back.I thought maybe you had gotten caught in a bale of cotton.You need to go check out my new header. It's wicked cool. I may be fifty is a should five years but like Benjamin Button I am getting better with age. More I will be able to wear the loin cloth for quite a while yet. I plan to introduce it into my nursing home lounge wear. Again. Glad to have you back.

  14. Kal, you really need to do an entire post on the subject of overused lines. That's pretty brilliant. I also like your Benjamin button line. I think it would work as rap lyric.

    Cotton, No TV? And you still enjoy my entertainment bits? I must be better than I thought. haha. Since you liked it, I'll have to include more trailers in the column.

    Marlene, That's the power of Brimley. He reaches out and pulls people in when they least expect him.

    Adorably, You're right, pirates and robots would only make it better.

  15. I'm with camel, get drunk before this one

  16. You're right--the Aronofsky movies are always interesting. Even though Mickey Rourke says that he makes his actors suffer like dogs and enjoys doing it! (In fact maybe that's why the movies ARE so good!)

  17. Why is Nick Stahl in two movies, that open the same weekend?? He's alright, but not that good, to be getting that much work.

  18. Hm, definitely gonna check em out :)
    They look acutually pretty good.

  19. oh awesome! i was hoping you'd review black swan & rare exports and you didnt dissapoint. im totally pumped about both of those films. they look amazing. its like a bonus if you say they're worth watching. :)


Related Posts with Thumbnails