Friday, January 21, 2011

7 Word Weekend Movie Review: No Strings Attached, Evangelion, and now I hate the sky

New Movies Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

The Company Man (limited) - In case you were missing the recession.

Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance (limited) - My anime experience ends with Speed Racer.

No Strings Attached - Portman... Kutcher... I guess Yin Yang's real.

The Way Back - Fine, I'll sleep. Wake me come summer.

The Company Man has a really good cast and it could be good, but in theater? Nay. No Strings Attached? Natalie Portman already rules this year thanks to Black Swan (and Thor and Your Highness later this year), but it just doesn't strike me as being "must see in theater". Fact nothing here to me is worth seeing this weekend. Unless of course you're some huge anime fan (which I'm willing to bet 95% of you reading this aren't). As far anime goes I liked Speed Racer and Astroboy and yes, growing up in a Christian house, Superbook and The Flying House (which I now suspect, despite the Christian values must have been written by people on LSD). Needless to say I have only a vague knowledge of what Evangelion is. 

If anyone ever wondered why I didn't make this site strictly about movies, it's because of this time of year. The big blockbuster-ish for this month, was last week. I can see No Strings Attached topping The Green Hornet this weekend because of Portman's draw, but who knows. Next week looks pretty bleak too, with the standard backwash of things come and gone and come again. Really there's not any movies I'm personally looking forward to seeing in theaters until March, when I expect to love the heck out of Paul. But it's a long stretch till then.

So it was announced that the villains in the next Batman film will be Catwoman and Bane. This news brought to you by me only 2 days after the announcement. Nothing but the most cutting edge news here. I thought about posting about it at the time, but I decided early on I wasn't going to spend time covering entertainment news. I read it, that's enough for me. Anyways, I'm a bit disappointed really. Catwoman has been done to death and while I'm sure Anne Hathaway will be purrfect (see what fallout is already resulting? Stale catwoman puns!) I'm just tired of the character. My first reaction to Bane was to think of him as filler, but a character like him in Christopher Nolan's hands could be interesting. It just seems like a down note after having the perfect joker in Heath Ledger. I would have preferred a more unknown villain.

Let's just hope the baddies don't team up, cause they've tried that in Batman movies and it doesn't work.

Also in movie news... 

Will Smith's children continue to make me hate oxygen and sunlight. The fact that they're talking about remaking Annie with his daughter makes me want to shoot the sky, which I'm well aware of wouldn't hurt it. Need silver sky bullets to take that sucker down.

Short column this week, but thanks to the lackluster films there's not much to say. 

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. Yes, a bummer weekend. And you know Noland won't let us down.

  2. If Natalie Portman gets nekkid in no stings attached, I will go see it.

  3. No strings attached. Hmmmm, how many times can Hollywood do, then re-do, and do again, the friends who have bootie-call sex and then-oh-no-will-they-fall-in-love trope? ***yawn*** BTW, I love your 7 word movie reviews. It's the best blogging day of the week! - G

  4. I love your 7 word movie reviews, too. I wonder how long it takes you to come up with such catchy phrases. I think I'm due for a nap. No movies right now. *yawn*

  5. I don't think I could watch no strings. I would have to see "MY!" Natalie Portman doing bad things with Ashton Kutcher. I couldn't stomach it. The balance of the universe is off. Great purity corrupted by great evil, plus the plot is so obvious and has been done to death and then done some more.

  6. i like anime...i also like chicken wings and beer.

    you know what else is nice? stuff.

    you must be glad you read this comment.

  7. although seeing natalie portman is a good incentive to check out the film, hearing that ashton kutcher also stars in it makes me think that it'll just be another dumbed down movie.

  8. Yeah it's a weak movie season. Catwoman? I don't know if they can top Pheifer. Unless if they get Ertha Kit again.

  9. What?
    My Annie?

    Where's the petition? I need to sign it!

  10. Too bad Heath died...I would have loved a Harley Quinn. To me, so far, the only catwoman is Michelle Pfieffer. I loved her.

  11. i'm sure the repeat viewers of green hornet won't be enough for some more natpo. though, it is in 3d, meaning more money per ticket.

  12. what's up bruh. diggin your blog. keep me updated on your new posts.

  13. I would of liked to see The Riddler in the next batman installment. I agree with your take on Catwoman. Nolan could do better.

  14. can't wait to see Thor (sorry but you brought it up)

  15. Thanks for the advance warnings! I guess I'll read for a few months instead...

  16. Just remember, with the remake of Annie, the sun will come out toooooomooooroooowww. Bet your bottom dollar that tomoorooooow there'll be sunnnnnn.

    Reminds me, I need to pay my vocal coach.


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