Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I win at internets vol. 1

I've done a lot of miscellaneous things here and there that haven't really fit into other posts. I started a tumblr blog last year for a place to dump these as I thought of them. But I figured (purely out of laziness) that I might as well share some of that with you. No commentary, just random. Enjoy (maybe).







Random literary insult #1:

To say I hate it would be an insult to the word 'hate.' The semi-random grouping of atoms that sat across from me was an affront to all that I held dear. Perhaps it had once been something more, maybe even a person, but now it was just a floating mass of particles contained within a slick veneer.

You make a better door than you do a window.

And how is that supposed to make all the doors of this world feel? Maybe we like being doors. You can see right through a window, but doors invite only those worthy to see inside, all the while quickly dismissing other, unworthy vessels. I have no time for cheep suits that reflect the personality inside them. Random or otherwise, a mass of atoms does not a person make.


And now a less classy insult:




(alright slight commentary - I've always loved Winnie the Pooh, and as adult this has translated into me doing many very bad jokes with such otherwise innocent characters.)

22 comments:

  1. TS! Do more of these here. I REALLY enjoyed them.

    'You can see right through a window' That just speaks to me on so many levels. Very deep, man. Very deep.

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  2. You should do more of these. I agree with Anna.

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  3. don't post them here because you are lazy, post them here because they are REALLY good!

    I use the "bettter door than a window" when people get between me and the TV...

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  4. I like your point about doors vs windows. I'd trust my life to a door, not a window. Plus, usually, I'd rather have a door between me and a TV.
    xoRobyn

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  5. Add 60s glasses to the pepper shaker and you got a Far Side strip.

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  6. Amoebas (if that's what those were) really would have a hard time telling children apart, wouldn't they? That was my favorite one. How different can a single cell be from another? Alright, my nerdy juices are starting to flow, and that's how I know it's time to stop.

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  7. Another vote here for: MORE PLEASE! :) Laughed my arse off at the first one!!!

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  8. the winnie the pooh one is fantastic ... your note at the end makes me curious what the other ones involving those guys are

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  9. I am very proud of Brother Eyeore. He is really taking his therapy to heart and finally expressing the way he really feels. Christopher Robin had it coming for a long long time. I always resented the fact that he never even brought out a nice refridgerator box for poor Eyeore to live in. I got a soft spot for that wonderful bastard and his delicious ennui.

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  10. Hahaha!! Way to go Eeyore! Way to stand up for yourself!!

    BTW, look the look of your blog!

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  11. I have totally reenacted that scenario with my salt and pepper shakers before.

    While waiting for dinner, I will sometimes act out their first date and wedding too.

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  12. I followed you just coz you've got a Dale in yer header. Fucking brilliant!

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  13. Lovely how your mind flies here and there...the amoeba should know better than adopt a purple child....
    the pepper has a point when he asks "leaving me for some one pasty and waif like"? .....

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  14. I am very happy you commented on my blog so I could find this!

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  15. I love the Pooh one. It looks like he's saying it to Christopher rather then the other way around...unless that's what it was suppossed to be. :p

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  16. Random makes the world go round dude, bring on the awesome!

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  17. I think I want to be a doggie door, all flappy and lets in everyone and anyone.

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