Friday, April 1, 2011

A is for: Advice

Dear guy who looks suspiciously like the Hawaiian Punch mascot,

My girlfriend and I were supposed to have a quiet night in last week. Little Chinese food... Watch a movie... You know how we do. Only problem is, she didn't like the movie I picked out. As far as I'm concerned Anaconda is the greatest movie of all time. It's got everything you need; action, drama, romance. She said it's a horrible movie. As if they'd really make 3 sequels for a "horrible" movie. Needless to say we got in a fight and haven't really spoken more than a few words since. 

I still like her and all, even if she wouldn't know a good movie if it bit her on the arse. How do I patch things up without letting her think she won in the argument over Anaconda?

Anaconda Fan in Michigan

Dear WTF,

Seriously dude, Anaconda? You're having a fight with your girlfriend over Anaconda? I feel like I should punch you on principal. Best thing about that movie was watching Owen Wilson die and even that doesn't go down easy. I'm going to help you through this but only because it's my job.

Listen, the two of you don't have to agree on everything. If you did you'd be boring to each other and would be looking for other companions no time flat. If you really want to save your relationship, the best thing you can do is get together, have a drink -maybe something cool and refreshing... Fruity, but with a nice tang- and settle your differences. Let her know, as you pour her a second glass of the sweet ambrosia, that in the end it's a just a movie. You can always nip off to the garage and watch it quietly by yourself.

Yourself and a delightful beverage.

Punc- er, Jerry

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