Monday, July 25, 2011

Cliche Review #2

"Absence makes the grow fonder."

No, you misheard. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. Not just for you, but for your friends, strangers, doors...

"Actions speak louder than words"

But what if you scream them really loudly? Take for instance 'help'. If someone's drowning in a lake, do you really think them miming SOS is going to attract the attention of hungry grillers getting their bratwurst on? I think not. I'll take good ole' words, cause the action of drowning means silence forever. Also I'll wear a life jacket.

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

Trust me, Jack is anything but dull. For starters he works on these massive skyscrapers, repairing problems with them and building new ones. He's up hundreds of feet in the air at times, with little to nothing preventing him from falling back down to earth. That giant flagpole up top the building you love so much? Jack put it there. So after work all he wants to do is wind down with a beer in front of the TV and skip out on playing, so what? Trust me, if you think not playing makes Jack dull, than you my friend, don't know Jack.

"The more the merrier"

Well that just doesn't seem right does it? If it were we'd all cram ourselves into our homes and apartments as tightly as we could. Sardines would have more room in their cans than we would in our own houses. And forget about privacy in the bathroom. It doesn't matter if it's number 1 when it's multiplied by 12. Forgive me if, when I lay down at night, I don't want it to be between six other men, a few women, and a small cluster of children. I don't necessarily go in for population control, but there is a point where there's too many bodies in motion. That's the real tragedy of no more shuttle missions. For as long as man has been looking at the stars, he's been envisioning visiting other worlds, and putting as much space between ourselves as possible. In fact the only time, 'the more the merrier' actually works is when you're moving and need a bunch of cheap labor. But there was already a saying for that: Misery loves company.

"Misery loves company"

Well, yes, as I just stated, when moving, you're miserable and you do in fact want company. You want a company that will move your stuff from one end of town to the other. Outside of that though, I can't think of anything I want less than company when I'm miserable. If I've got a cold or I'm feeling down in the dumps, the last thing I want is a plethora of people parading around my place. No, if you ask me, what misery loves is a quart of ice cream and a fifth of scotch.

"Wish in one hand, s*** in the other and see which one fills up first"



  1. In one of the final shuttle missions they took octopus into space...with predictable results. No more space program because something ELSE controls the high frontiers. I warned ya. First the deep oceans which they RENT like urban slumlords to the alien scum that wishes to visit and partake of our more tasty and frisky species. I won't bore you with the details. Freakin' bulbheads may have killed the dream and a good number of the dreamers but...what was my point?

  2. Hahahaha! I needed that. Thank you. ;-) My favourite, right now - has to be Jack. I feel like scaling the building with the stick man.

  3. Laughing my arse off at the moving company one! And actually, I always say the last one!!!

  4. Great break-down of some stupid cliches, and nice artwork. I especially agree about misery and "the more the merrier." It's much funner to be a hermit.

  5. The "you don't know Jack" line made me snort a little. But it was totally an attractive snort, I swear...


  6. Excellent! I really enjoyed this.

  7. I partook in the A-stuff on a poker night. I saw a green light. That's about it. BTW...Jack is da Mack!

  8. I bought a bottle of Absinthe in Cozumel 3 years ago and have yet to crack it. I was intrigued about the whole subject a few years back when an article (yes I read them) appeared in an issue of Maxxim magazine. One day I'll share some with friends...just not on Kava Night!

  9. wow...thoughtfully provoking artwork and words.....dissection of your brain can make for interesting analysis .

  10. haha best reason yet for space travel ...

    also the last one is fantastic. i've got myself a simple rebuttal i hadn't thought of.

    (and - new layout! i dig it!)


Related Posts with Thumbnails