Friday, September 16, 2011

Drive, Straw Dogs, Lion King 3D: Weekend Review

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

Drive - I wonder if criminals cover fueling costs?

I Don't Know How She Does It - Bread goes in, but toast comes out!

The Lion King 3D - At least it's not another remake, right?

Straw Dogs - Hey, what do you know, a remake.

Hey, let's play a fun game. It's called spot the differences. Ready?

The poster for the original Straw Dogs and a very iconic image at that:

And now the poster for the remake:

Remaking a movie, that's nothing. Now remaking a well known poster... That's a bold touch. The original Straw Dogs was very controversial at the time for the violence in it. We've come a long way though haven't we? The remake could be a thousand times more violent and graphic and no one's going to care. Look what it takes for the BBFC to ban a film these days. The Human Centipede 2 (which sounds pretty darn nasty) was recently banned and that's supposedly start to finish violence. Mind you this isn't some diatribe on violence in cinema. I'm just saying that as part of what made the original what it was is shock value. As such, I don't see this being anything more than a quickly forgotten release.

Watch and it'll prove me wrong becoming the top grossing film of all time. I've been spited like that before.

I want to believe that Drive will be good. The trouble is I have a problem really buying Ryan Gosling in a tough guy role. Did you see the video where he broke up the street fight? Look at the shirt he's wearing. Completely invalidates what he's doing. Plus his name is a baby bird. How can you be a bad ass with a name that makes people think of cute fluffy geese babies? But, much as I joke I do enjoy Gosling and a film about a Hollywood stunt driver moonlighting as a wheelman, sounds like fun. I've heard good things about it and look forward to seeing it.

How many versions of Lion King does this make? I'm pretty sure it makes like a billion. I loved it when I was a kid. There's a statement I heard a lot when they rereleased Star Wars and now it's my turn to say it. Sweet. I'm not going to complain about it, I just wish some other classic kids films could get a little love as well. Heck I'd settle for some Disney TV movies being released to DVD. Double Switch? I'd be all over that mess if they put it on DVD. How about all the Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck cartoons? I used to love when they'd play the old ones before the Sunday night movie. But yeah, whatever, Lion King, again, I guess it's cool.

I know, all you non-raised on Disney peeps just rolled your eyes. S'okay, I understand, you had a poor misguided childhood. We still like you anyway.

So what are you watching this weekend?


  1. When I heard what Centipede was about I felt sick. What the hell! Sometimes I think this world totally sucks. And now they made a sequel?
    (Sorry, I'm in granny mode. Granny gets all shocked and appalled.)

    Love your 7 word reviews.

  2. I laughed my arse off at "Bread goes in, but toast comes out". You are so funny!

    I love Ryan Gosling...partly because of the movies I've seen him in (The Notebook, Lars and the Real Girl, Fracture, etc.)....and partly because he is from my home city. :)

  3. Drive's director is the guy who made Bronson. For that reason alone I'm willing to check it out.

  4. You didn't mention that one of the movies has Olivia Munn in it. But, you probably have to suffer through a lot of SJP for a small bit of OM.

  5. Can't believe they redid Straw Dogs. I'll let you know about Drive - seeing it tonight!

  6. @Belle, believe it or not, the director kept hearing how tame the first one was, so he decided to make the sequel as depraved as possible.

    @Marlene, I like Gosling too, and Drive looks good.

    @MRanthrope, I should have mentioned that. Refn as done some really interesting work. The Pusher trilogy was great.

    @Budd, Honestly, I know it's gotten some good WOM, but I really couldn't look past the SJP angle.

    @Alex, coolness, can't wait to hear what you thought.

  7. It's all about remakes and 3D these days. I'm probably going to have to see Straw Dogs anyway...

    I'm proud to say I've never seen any Lion King 2D, 3D, or any D...

  8. Thor. Just finished watching it with the kiddos. It was okay but not as good as I thought it would be.


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