Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Dinosaur Party Candidates: Ms. Soph Bocks

Ms. Sope Bocks
(Pterodactyl - Carnivore)

I am Soph Bocks and I'm running for President of the United States. As many of you know, I’m a left wing liberal. Very left wing. I stand before you now to pledge that I will right many of America’s wrongs. Never in the history of this great nation have we ever elected someone who can fly. This is clear discrimination, and a gross oversight. A vote for me is a stand against prejudice. Also, FAA regulations are far too strict. No one should be required to identify themselves to Air Traffic Control—it’s an invasion of our privacy. No one bothers us when we walk or swim, so discrimination is at work here as well. 

One other place where prejudice is clearly seen is in grocery stores. Vegetarians/herbivores are practically guaranteed fresh fruits and vegetables. And often, produce like bananas are sold before they are even fully ripe, but we never see live animals for sale in the meat/seafood department. A horrible injustice. Along these same lines, the FDA’s food pyramid is in dire need of expansion near the top. Only 2 to 3 servings of meat, poultry, and fish? That is just stupid. I've been on the Atkins diet since birth, and I’m as healthy as any other candidate. So remember me at the polls. Thank you for your attention.

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  1. You are soooooooooo funny.

    I loved this.

  2. Too left wing for me, too....but I do like the idea of eating MORE MEAT PLEASE! LOL!

  3. As brilliant as ever. Too squeaky for me, I have shortlisted my favs already.

  4. Hmm, live meat at the grocery store? I'd have to mull that over.

  5. yummmmm, meat. She needs to fly down off her soap box.

  6. If there was live meat in the grocery store I would probably become a vegetarian! lol. How's the cabinet business going?

  7. I like her stance on FAA regulations.

  8. ^uhhh ... what?

    I had thought up a little joke response but now it feels weird ... ah forget it, here it is.

    I can see it now. A billboard that says, "Don't be a Dope - vote for Sope!"


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