Friday, February 24, 2012

Act of Valor, Gone, Wanderlust, Tyler Perry, and Poems: 7 Word Weekend Review

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

Act of Valor - Fighting for my right to not watch.

Gone - I wish. Unfortunately Seyfried keeps making films. 

Tyler Perry's Good Deeds - See: Any of my other Perry reviews.

Wanderlust - I've got that. Why do you ask?

Hmm... today has an odd tinge to it. Maybe because the weather is so fantastic. I think I'll do the reviews today as poetry.

Act of Valor

Act of Valor,
Perhaps it'd be better,
If I held my tongue 
And said less on the matter
Please don't feel I'm not patriotic,
Cause I don't want to watch 
Like war crazed psychotics
Trust me I appreciate our soldiers too
But all these wars of men? Mon Dieu!


Gone, When you wake in the morning, 

Oh no wait, Oh no wait, that's from an STP song
It seems that more than this movie's gone wrong
Did the handle fall off? Is the run time too long?
Were they strapped for cash? Was their coffee too strong?

It appears that someone didn't realize that
Amanda Seyfried looks like a cat
So she can sing, and occasionally act
It doesn't mean we should overlook facts

She sucks the life out of films,
Like a vampire unashamed
Creating black holes on screen,
Faster than scientists can name

Name, name? Pretty penny was her name...
Dang. It's that STP song in my head once again.


It's hard to deny
The stars, when they align
When everything
Seems to fit
When it all should go right
But I can't help but feel
Something's wrong on those reels
With each trailer
I watch
Comedic fool's gold masking steel

Course It's written by Ken Marino, and he's almost always funny. Not Michael Showalter funny, but still. Not to mention it's co-written and directed by David Wain, and he's always golden. And we all know how I feel about Paul Rudd... You know what, forget the crappy trailers, I want to see the film.

What? It's free verse.

Tyler Perry's Good Deeds

When my life on earth ends
And I find myself in Heaven
Before God
And before his saints
And he asks me why I'm crying
I'll tell him how I sat
Through three Tyler Perry films
With only one laugh.
Then he'll wipe my tears
As he takes me into peace, 
And assure me that Perry might be there,
But his films never will be.

Whew. Got that out of my system. For now... Never can say what tomorrow brings. Oh wait, the weekend. Sweet!

Have a great weekend everyone.


  1. I love your posts. This was great.

  2. I'm sure your words are far better than the scripts of this group!

  3. @Belle, That is so sweet of you to say. Thank you.

    @Alex, Thank you sir, I do try.

    @Pat, To be fair, I think the back of a cereal box might be better than a Tyler Perry script. haha

    @Kal, You know how much I value your opinion. Thank you.

  4. Great poetry! I have no interest in any of these movies...sigh....where have all the good ones gone?

  5. Wanderlust seems cool...I'll pass on the rest.

  6. Fantastic rendition of movies I am glad not to see....more poetry to torch the screens.


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