Friday, July 4, 2014

A Day In The Life Of Melvin

5:45 AM: The box on the table beside my human will be making noise soon. Best to wake him before that happens so as it won't startle him. I will do this by sitting on his chest and licking his nose. He may resist, but it's for his own good.

6:11 AM: My human is up, but the box didn't make any noise. Weird. Today is July 4th, my birthday, and I can't wait to see what kind of presents I get.

7:30 AM: I have searched all around but have yet to find any presents. I think I shall have a nap in my human's shoe before resuming my search.

8:45 AM: Rudeness! I have been yelled at on my birthday to get out of the shoe. If that's not enough, I have been put into the garage. This often happens when my human leaves for the day as there's a kitty door in the garage. 

8:50 AM: Sure enough, my human has left. One of these days I should really learn his name.

9:00 AM: Sometimes if one wants to have a party, they must see to it themselves. I have decided to venture out into the world today to invite some friends. But first I must put on my helmet, to protect me from zombies.

9:03 AM: As soon as the helmet is on I feel like Magneto. I will spend the next few hour playing X-Men before I head out. You know this plastic prison of theirs won't hold me forever.

1:00 PM: It would seem I fell asleep at some point. It was the sun's fault. No matter now, it is time to head out.

1:15 PM: I have met a frog who I have named Bill, but he is resisting playing with me. I keep grabbing at him to pull him back but he- oops, never mind, Bill's dead. 

2:30 PM: I've spent a long while trying to get Cooper to either let me into her house or come out, but she just stares at me indifferently through the window. I wonder if she's still mad about the noodle incident?

3:30 PM: None of my friends want to attend my party. Plumperdink would have, for the nibbles, but he got stuck in his kitty door and now has to wait to be rescued. I guess I'll have to see if I can find some new friends.

3:47 PM: No friends yet, but I did find a puddle. It's quite muddy, and I must admit, I rather enjoy splashing in it.

4:49 PM: I have met a small group of cats in an alley way. They're a little more, er, boisterous, than I'm used to. Though they seem very interested in my party.

4:51 PM: Moth!

5:15 PM: Me and the others are back at my house and the place in jumping. Everyone is exploring the garage. We even located a bag of nibbles that we've opened and spread along the floor for all to feast. It's a lot of fun.

5:46 PM: My human is home! Hopefully he'll join in the festivities with us.

5:51 PM: Things have not gone according to plan. My human freaked out when he opened the garage door. That in turn kind of freaked out my new buddies and they sort of attacked him.

6:01 PM: Everyone is cleared out now and my human has locked the kitty door. I know what that means. I'm grounded. Grounded on my own birthday. My human seems to be cleaning everything up now so I shall nap until he is finished.

7:21 PM: I don't understand what I did, but I'm being punished. I have been carried away into the bathroom and there is the evil tub of wet. I shall do my best to fight the punishment. I am innocent I say, innocent!

7:46 PM: I am wet. My human is toweling me off. I'll admit I enjoy this part, though I still resent him for the torture. 

8:32 PM: My human is outside with his friends. It is getting dark now and I'm beginning to think he has forgotten my birthday today. I sit on the windowsill looking out, hoping he'll invite me.

8:48 PM: He has yet to invite me.

9:08 PM: I was wrong, I was wrong, he has remembered my birthday. Outside he's setting off fireworks. So many colors. There's blue, and blue, and some green, and more blue!

9:25 PM: The fireworks show has ended. My human has outdone himself today. But now I think I shall turn in for the night. It's been a great birthday.


  1. Simple things for simple cats. Too bad about Bill...
    Hilarious, Tim! Have a great Fourth.

  2. I knew the fireworks were for Melvin! My friend owes my $10.

  3. Yes we all need our helmets for the zombie attacks Thanks for sharing Melvin.

  4. Poor Melvin, he can't even get out of his own way. Great stuff Tim!


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