Dear Mom and Dad,
Okay, I'm willing to admit things may have gotten a little out of hand. But it's hard when you start down a road of lies. When I first started telling my life story it seemed easier to fudge over certain details. For instance, that you guys are still alive. I have since come around on this detail after seeing just how insane people are over that point in my story.
I know it can't have been easy for you guys to read, and then watch, time and time again as you were murdered in the streets of Gotham. Especially after you guys provided me such a loving home to grow up in. If it's any consolation, I carry with me the memory of your expressions when you first saw each other slain on the big screen. It has...haunted me.
There is no defense for this lie. But as a young vigilante, somehow I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone that there wasn't some big tragedy that made me take up the cowl. The truth is I was just a geek with an unhealthy obsession with bats. Didn't exactly strike fear into the hearts of the bullies who stuffed me into lockers all through high school. I don't see how it'd gain me any respect with criminals now.
I had hoped that eventually filmmakers and comic writers would move on from this point of the story but each new one seems more obsessed than the last. The fact that dad semi-retired and you two moved to Connecticut for a quieter pace of life is going to destroy the image I've crafted, but I'm okay with that. I can't keep living with this deception. More to the point, both of you shouldn't have to continue living with my lies.
On a lighter note, I will be able to make it up for the Wayne family reunion this year after all. I've cleared a full week, so mom, you can finally introduce me to your friend's daughter. Dad, I hope the shingles are doing better.
Love to you both,