Monday, December 21, 2009

Non-Review: It's Complicated - Reviewed by The Shrunken Heads

Thomas: Thank you for coming, today we'll be reviewing 'It's Complicated' starring Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep.

Smith: Why are we doing this? We're supposed to only review horror.

Jeffrey: Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin having sex... you're telling me that's not horror?

Thomas: Last week we did Avatar. We're flexible. Though, yes we mostly review horror. Evidently what's wrong with Meryl Streep? I always rather liked her.

Smith: I just learned way too much about you.

Jeffrey: Way, way too much.

Thomas: Oh grow up will you? What did you two think of the movie?

Smith: Unrealistic bit of treacle, wherein everyone who should be punished for their transgressions, are ultimately rewarded with happy endings.

Thomas: It's not like they get away with everything. There are consequences to their actions.

Smith: Yes, chafing.

Thomas: Steve Martin plays a perfectly nice, decent character in this.

Smith: There's nothing decent about falling in love with Meryl Streep. It's sick. Though I suppose that does make him a good actor.

Thomas: Enough with the Streep hate. She's a living legacy of fine work in film. An artist who paints on the canvas of cinema with her every movement and enunciation.

Jeffrey: I didn't think it was possible, but my vomit just vomited.

Smith: This is seriously a side of Tom that I never thought, nay, wanted to see.

Jeffrey: I know, he's actually got us agreeing on something.

Thomas: Quiet now children. What did you think of the story Jeffrey?

Jeffrey: What story? Why did we even watch this movie? William is the money Baldwin. Steve Martin hasn't been funny since '96. I cannot stress how much of waste of film this-

Smith: What?

Jeffrey: I just figured it out.

Thomas: Figured what out?

Jeffrey: We saw this movie because of you.

Thomas: What are you talking about?

Smith: Sweet mother of Google, he's right! It's because of you and your damned Meryl Streep fetish that we had to sit through that tripe.

Jeffrey: It all makes sense now.

Thomas: Just because I express some simple interest in an accomplished actress, does not mean I have a fetish. And let's keep the profanity down, alright?

Jeffrey: You disgust me.

Thomas: If you two are going to be like this I might as well close this now. Personally I enjoyed the film. While it is true that William is the 'money Baldwin,' Alec was extremely funny in this, channeling the aspects of the same character we've come to know and love in 30 rock. Steve Martin does an excellent job as the sweet lovable idiot who falls for Meryl Streep. While I don't have a fetish, I do love Meryl Streep in this. She's funny and beautiful and perfection in the role of the confused divorcée. Any last comments guys?

Smith: You make me sick.

Jeffrey: Perv.

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