Monday, December 7, 2009

Non-Review: The Lovely Bones - reviewed by Thomas, Jeffrey and Smith (aka the Shrunken Head Review)

Thomas: Welcome to our review of the movie 'The Lovely Bones' directed by Peter Jackson.

Smith: Yes welcome.

Thomas: Let's get right to it shall we? So what did you two think of it?

Smith: I thought it was alright. It wasn't as fantastic as some of (Peter) Jackson's earlier works. It was a fairly true adaption of the book, which I quite enjoyed. My main problem was that it lacked any punch to it.

Thomas: What do you mean by 'punch'?

Smith: Well I'm used to seeing bigger than life characters from (Peter) Jackson. And I don't mean like in LOTR or King Kong. I'm thinking more in the vein of 'The Frightners' where the characters sort of leap from the screen. Even in 'Heavenly Creatures' when the tone was more eerily understated, Pauline and Juliet felt like they really did come from some fantasy land.

Thomas: So you're saying the characters weren't colorful enough?

Smith: I'm saying a dead girl in heaven should have more depth.

Thomas: I see what you're saying. Jeffrey you've been awfully quiet so far. Care to weigh in?

Jeffrey: I think that Smith complains too much. He's a shrunken head, of course characters aren't going to seem as fantastical to him. Mind you I only thought the movie was ok myself, but for different reasons.

Thomas: Such as?

Jeffrey: Mark Wahlberg.

Smith: I knew it. He was complaining before we even went in. Kept saying that he didn't want to watch a movie that starred the 'poor man's Matt Damon' as he put it. Mark Wahlberg was fine. As was Rachel Weisz.

Jeffrey: Rachel Weisz is always fine. I would never say anything bad about her. I also thought that Stanley Tucci was fantastically creepy as George Harvey, Susie's murderer.

Smith: I thought he was a little boring in the role myself.

Jeffrey: Of course you did. You've always been an excellent judge of character haven't you? Like when you suggested we should ask the natives for directions, because they looked like 'a bunch of nice guys.'

Thomas: Now, now, let's not get off topic. What did you guys think of Saorise Ronan as Susie?

Smith: Comparable.

Jeffrey: Comparable? She was perfect in the role. Well as perfect as one can get when they have little to work with.

Smith: She didn't seem totally convincing as someone who's been dismembered.

Jeffrey: Just because you've been dismembered doesn't give you the right to critique the livings portrayal. Personally I thought she was marvelous.

Thomas: Alright let's wrap this up. For my own thoughts, I felt the film was ok, but not great. I felt Stanley Tucci was fantastic in a very creepy role. The directing was uninspired and below the standards we've been accustomed to from Peter Jackson. However with as many bad adaptations of different books that come out every year, The Lovely Bones is not the worst I've seen. Final thoughts guys?

Smith: Needed more violence.

Jeffrey: Yes, more violence.

1 comment:

  1. " the 'poor man's Matt Damon'"

    And now I shall never refer to Mark by name ever again.


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