Thursday, February 4, 2010

Ask a Bird (non-advice)






Dear Earl,


When I was a little kid I would go quail hunting with my grandpa. Every year we'd get up early and head out to the country. There was one field in particular that we liked to visit. We'd stop for breakfast on the way, but I was always too excited to really eat anything. I had an old beagle named Fred who would come along and help us hunt. Those days were great.


However, I remember there was an old saying my grandpa used to tell me. He'd say, 'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.' I still have no idea what this means. Could you explain it?


Sincerely,


Clueless in Texas


Dear Clueless,

Screw your grandpa, the beagle and yourself. I hope one day you'll know the pain of watching your friends and family hunted for sport. Hopefully, it'll be done by quails.

Sincerely,

Earl E. Bird

9 comments:

  1. I hate this stupid bird. Just because you are bird doesn't mean you immediately have to stand up for an support all other birds. Personally I know for a fact that Ostriches are dicks and would sell ou their own parents if it meant a promotion at work. They were the only bird known to have turned in Jews to the Nazis during WWII. Same thing goes for people. I personally don't like Serbians. It's not because they have thick stupid looking hair, are stupid looking and they smell but its because they have thick stupid looking hair, are stupid looking and they smell. Some human or beagle just might save your life one of these days. But then again, maybe one of them won't. Where the hell is the cat in the Sombrero?

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  2. Wow, that's a bit of a turnaround from last week when you claimed the bird would be a good replacement for the worm.

    I know ostriches are jerks, they ripped off th emu. Quails though, while tasty, are cute little puffs that should be protected.

    You know what birds I hate? Those tiny little yellow and black birds. I used to think they were sweet until one day I watched two of them peck to death a sparrow.

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  3. Very funny post. I'm partial to the robin bird, and glad no venom was expressed herein about her.
    Cheers,
    Robyn

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  4. Understandable. I have nothing but good experiences with robins.

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  5. Oh YOU are such a suck-up TS. How come I only get the weirdos and you get all the pretty women to comment. Is it me?

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  6. lol, you only get weirdos? But I comment on your- oh I see what you're doing.

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