Monday, February 8, 2010

Myspace Time Capsule 2 -Newsies vs Citizen Kane

I didn't take anytime to write this last weekend, I was sort of busy with the whole awesomeness of the Super Bowl. SAINTS!! As such, today I'm going lazy again. Thus I present you with another Myspace Time Capsule. Let's open the vault and see what I was talking about when Myspace was still a valid I still used Myspace.

May 24, 2008 - Saturday
Citizen Kane Vs. Newsies
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Here we have two movies with some loose common ground. I've decided to put them up against each other to decide which is the better movie. Best of five points wins.

Citizen Kane

Often touted as one of the greatest movies of all time, Citizen Kane broke new ground not just in it's material, but also in the way it was shot. It pioneered new techniques and inspired future film makers.
The movie focuses on the life of Charles Foster Kane, a tongue and cheek cut out of William Randolf Hearst.

The famous bits: There isn't anyone on the planet who doesn't know "Rosebud." And most know it was the dying words of some old guy in the movie. The movie also made that Hearst guy a little upset.


Newsies [aka. The News Boys]

Not remotely touted for anything, unless one takes into account how low of a grossing film it was.
The movie focuses on the 'newsies' who suffer after Joeseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst raise the distribution price 1/10th of a cent per paper. The newsies respond in kind by singing and dancing down the streets of New York. Based on a true story.

The famous bits: Christian Bale singing (almost) and dancing (almost) like there's no tomorrow!

Now that we have our fighters let's take a look at the score:

Citizen Kane broke new ground. On the other hand, the newsies plight broke my heart. Alright clearly Citizen Kane wins this round. The newsies is if nothing else, generic.

Musical Score: 
The Dark Knight "sings" his heart out in the newsies. Citizen Kane has music... hey, who doesn't like Funeral March? On this we must bow to those krazy kids.

Blah blah, Orson Welles, blah blah, Joeseph Cotton, blah blah. Yada Yada, Christian Bale, yada yada, Robert Duvall, yada yada. There's no way I can in good conscious even for a second pretend to give this point to anyone but C.K.
I don't know... maybe if it wasn't one of the worst things Duvall has ever done.

Historical Accuracy: 
C.K. is based on Hearst and a couple others, but is still a fictional character surrounded by fictional characters, whereas most of the newsies are based on real people, and embraces (embarrasses) that fact. Oh and Hearst is Hearst so... yeah, it's the newsies point.

I know, on the surface it seems like I should just automatically throw down in favour of Citizen Kane. I won't..can't deny that when it comes to quality, Kane has it in spades. But for all the love Citizen Kane has received over the years it still fails to do one thing... entertain me. Sure it's done well, but it's boring. Dry. Kin to waking up in the night with a dry mouth and wandering over to the cupboard and drinking a cup of salt.

Newsies on the other hand...

Whilst I can't pretend to love the movie as I did when I was 10 it still remains a decent kids flick. Sure it causes me pain to try and watch it now. But it's a different pain than that of C.K. It's the kind of pain that's over quickly.
Because with Citizen Kane, you spend the whole movie wanting him to die so it will end, only to constantly be reminded that's how it started.

So, long winded as that was, I award the point to Newsies. Making them the winner of this bloodbath. 

Hmm. Actually I don't know why I didn't do more of these. I think I shall have to consider doing some more movie battles in the future.


  1. I thought the kid Vinnie D. from Doogie Houser was the only bright spot of the film. Newsies not Rosebud!!!

  2. Newsies always gets it's ass kicked in my mind to get compared to "Bugsy Malone" which to me is THE musical from my childhood.

  3. No matter which way you cut it Newsies is pretty bad. I just found Citizen Kane to be overrated.

  4. Yeh, it is essential viewing for any film history student but it is a tough slog. Knowing the story behind the Hearst/Wells feud and the 'trick' ending helped but not much. I actually enjoyed some of the silent films much more and they are nowhere near as technically polished.

  5. I agree. Really the most fascinating things about the film are the history and the technical accomplishments. I still think it should be required viewing, for anyone who takes film seriously, but on a purely entertainment level. Big raspberry.

  6. Open the gates and seize the day, good sir!

  7. And no mention of Bill Pullman? Or of a child Tom Hanks from the movie Big?

  8. How about some bad sex ed film vs waterworld? That's a fair fight.

    'I drink my own urine. Webbed feet!'

    'This is a picture of the clap. Webbed feet!'


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