Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Review: Watched Pots

I'd heard the expression many times and decided to test it for myself. With all the flair of a scientist performing an experiment, I began filling a large stainless steel pot with water. Just for the sake of argument I filled it with cold water. Having to wait all the longer for it to heat, would test my resolve. Something I knew was a necessary part of the trial.

After it was full, I set it on a large front burner on high, and pulled up a chair so I could properly observe. The first couple of minutes ticked by easy. I listened to the sound of the metal reacting to heat, hissing and popping. A bit of smoke from under the pot, informing me that small bit oil or food must have splattered onto the burner at some point. But that quickly dissipated leaving me and the pot.

I could hear people in the background talking and enjoying life. Comments like "why is he doing this?" And "you're an idiot" flew over my head. I could only assume it was something on TV they were referring to. After about 5 minutes more, a light steam began to emanate off the surface of the water. I stared on knowing that it couldn't be long.

Time did indeed begin slowing down, I noted. As I approached minute 12 I began to feel a strange anticipation. Somewhere deep inside I knew that if I could hold out, I would see something men only dream of. All my studies pointed to the point of water boiling as a portal to another world. Soon I would glimpse this reality and maybe even be transported to it.

At last little bubbles began shooting up to the top, creating ripples. I was drawn in closer, feeling air being sucked out of the room. It was almost time, I could feel it. A moment away from boil and the scientific breakthrough of the century! But then at the last second, my name was called. Eye contact was broken as I looked to see where I being pointed to; an old man shaking his butt on the TV.

I turned back quickly, but alas, it was too late. The water was rapidly boiling. All was lost. I understood then that man was not meant to cross certain boundaries. Whether to protect man from what lies beyond, or to protect it from us, safeguards are in place to assure we never get that far. With disappointment I turned off the stove and headed into the living room.

Not defeated though. After all, every great scientist has moments like these. The wright brothers didn't give up when they ran into trouble did they? Neither will I. Clearly a watched pot will never boil, because it's a locked gate to another universe. But I know from experience (reading Narnia) there are other ways in.

Watched pots: 1 out of 10


  1. Tis a sad truth, Ive given up years ago because it is in that one fraction of a second where I blink and the pot is boiling. Stupid pot..

  2. It was not until man stopped wasting his time watching that pot boil did he have his attention fully on all he had to concider while in the air. Only their focussed concentration allowed the Wright Brothers cross that important threshold and why women did not fly solo for many years. There was stew in dem der pots to be made for the men folk. Flying is hungry work.

  3. I love these scientific experiments, this is what males are bred to do.
    Except, of course, when your attention is momentarily diverted by an old man's butt.

  4. @Carl, it's designed to thwart us. Whoever does one day conquer it might just be the Kwisatz Haderach. That's right, from Dune.

    @Cal, You make a good point. And after all, a pot is only as good as it's stew, right? We should never forget the reason for the water in the pot in the first place.

    @Joe, I bet all manner of diseases would be cured if it were not for the inevitable old man butt.

  5. The KH is all a myth to sell spice. We all know that. He's like the Either Bunny or Satan Claws

  6. Shh don't ruin the con man, keep it on the DL. We be makin' a killin'. It's not even a fancy spice, just turmeric.


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