Monday, March 1, 2010

Battle of the Planets: The final countdown!

***Voting Closed***
This is it peoples. After a week of intense warring we are down to the final two. I now present you with the finalists:


Born in a neighboring solar system, Venus moved here when she was just 2. Her parents raised her to be respectful of her elders and to always do the right thing. She was enrolled in Catholic school where she quickly became resentful of everything her parents had raised her to believe in. She went on to experiment with drugs and sex, alcohol and other religions. After many years she bottomed out and returned to her roots, forgave her parents, but vowing to not make the same mistakes.



A shy sort of Planet, Neptune has always been a bit of a loner. When he was growing up he was often picked on for his size and color. As he entered college his social anxiety only got worse. He did his best to combat it, forcing himself to get involved in activities. He ran track, his second year and found that he had a knack for going around in a circle. Though he never pursued it professionally, the competitive edge stuck with him. Now a father of 13, he does his best teach his children it's ok to be yourself.

Alright, the talking is over. It all comes down to this. Cast your vote below.


  1. Gonna go with Neptune on this one.
    Gotta love the underdog, and besides, blue is my favorite color.

  2. After millions and millions of years, it once again comes down to color. I thought we'd advanced beyond this. I thought we were better than this!

    Hmmm, let's see, I hate brown! I vote for the pretty blue one.

  3. By the way...TS, your planet descriptions are hilarious!

  4. Neptune's had a much rougher existence, and he's got 13 offspring. Look how blue he is. Let's give the poor guy this award. It's all he's got to hold out hope for.
    PS I vote for Neptune.

  5. It looks like there's an eye in the middle of Neptune in that picture. It's staring at me. It creeps me out.... It follows my every move.... It judges me....

    Besides, because Neptune never pursued becoming a professional track star, I hear that he just sits in front of the television during the summer olympics, drinking beer after beer and yelling at his children. Telling them that he could have been something special, he could have been a star! The rest of the time, he just puts incredible amounts of unwanted pressure on his children, making them spend every waking hour at the track to become the fastest in his feeble attempts to live his dreams through them. Until he breaks down in tears on the side of the track, apologizing to his family for his demands, and questioning why he was dealt such a bad hand. It wasn't a bad hand Neptune, you just got lost in the shuffle.... You just got lost in the shuffle.... sniff.... sniff.... tear.... tear....

    On the other hand, Venus looks like a fiery hot mess. I vote for Venus.

  6. Joe, that's as good a reason as any.

    Pat, Thanks, glad you've enjoyed it.

    Robyn, He sure is blue, lol. Maybe with a win he'll cheer up?

    Asblack, I see you feel strongly about this, lol. But don't you think that this is Neptune, trying to become more than the planet you described? Trying to be a champion again?

  7. I heard Venus is great in the sack.

    2 votes for Venus.

    (Actually I cracked that joke without thinking about it ... but the 'i heard' sexual thing works well with her profile. So my vote definitely goes to the reformed Venus.)

  8. Pluto used to hold the outside edge of the solar system, and Neptune enjoyed being warm and cozy between two planets. But now, Pluto left and is hanging out with his other Kuiper friends, and Neptune is now the at the edge. It's cold out there, and lonely, and after seeing what happened to Pluto, Neptune is scared he's next. So I'll throw a vote his way so he knows he's still wanted.

  9. I love your planet facts and bios.

    Venus looks like a fiery mess of fury, I vote Venus. Neptune is already the god of the sea.


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