Saturday, April 10, 2010

Battle of the Shapes: The Winner

We are here to announce that the winner of Battle of the Shapes, and the newly crowned “Greatest of all shapes” is … hold on, I dropped the envelope … okay, here we go. The winner is … how do you get these things open? Ouch! Man, now I’ve got a paper cut. Hang on a sec. I need to go get a band-aid … thanks, alright, now, how do get these band-aids open? Oh, there we go. Gently. Good, yeah that’s nice. Okay, let’s open this envelope more carefully. There we go. Ha, got it. And the winner is … oops, I dropped some blood on it. Uh, I can’t read it now. Anyone have another copy? What? Dude, you’re going to have to whisper louder, I could barely hear that. Say it again. Oh, really? That’s who won. Great. Well, congratulations! That’s wonderful! Thanks to all the participants who participat—what is it now? Oh, I didn’t say it already? Sorry. Well, I was planning on congratulating Circle again at the end, so they would have figured it out then. Oh, fine. The winner is Squa— no, Circle. Sorry, yes, Circle. Congrats again. Can I get some champagne up here?

Alright, move. Get off the stage. Sorry everybody. He will be fired, don’t worry. And yes, the winner was Circle. So how about a big round of applause? Yes, yes, it deserves it. Thank you. Its road to victory was quite impressive, and included a rather easy romp over Pentagon (but it was mostly polite about it), from which it moved on to an absolute decimation of triangle (it bragged a bit over that one—but the party was good), and finally it took down Square, where it gave Box-boy such a beating that Boxy came out looking like an octagon. So, somewhat understandably, Circle was able to gain the crown fairly easily. Being the first shape that many kids first learn to draw, as well as the most abundant shape in the universe, it was probably to be expected. (Though Lens and Septagon are both particularly bitter over the results.) So, congratulations once again to Circle, the undisputed Greatest Shape!

23 comments:

  1. Now circle is going to be even more impossible to live with.

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  2. I know circle would win.
    He's so dreamy.

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  3. Hooray! I will now have a donut to celebrate.

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  4. I loved that opening with the envelope dropping and stuff. Funny, funny stuff.

    I had a lot of money riding on square. I guess I'm going to eat cheese sandwiches for awhile.

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  5. Do you remember the old game show I think it was Hollywood Squares, well for some reason a little vintage voice inside my head said, "and the circle gets the square" while I read this post.


    Visit me at FourthGradeNothing.com

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  6. I've been on Team Circle from the beginning. I'm just saying....

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  7. I agree with Pat. Circle is never going to let us forget this.

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  8. Yay!! Circle, my favorite! Perfect infinity, no beginning, no end, and DOUGHNUTS!
    (Doughnuts are my favorite fruit).

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  9. Need more band-aids? I've got some in a hooter tin.

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  10. You gotta admit, the circle's pretty awesome! Congrats, circle! Let's face it, since the invention of the wheel, you've been pretty hard to top!!

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  11. Psh. Wasn't even a contest. I mean, it's the shape of pie. PIE! Of course circle won. :)

    I loved this competition. You have such unique ideas. :)

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  12. I feel positively superior for being right on every contest...now if I could just do that with the lottery. Great contest!

    http://apackalipsnow.blogspot.com

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  13. You had me at "how do you get these band-aids open?" hilarious intro. Not so happy about the winner. Squares rule!!!

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  14. At this point I just think you're making the winner any shape that I don't choose.... lol

    Squares! Squares! Squares!

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  15. I was pulling for square too!

    Hey Rep, how about a recount?!

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  16. YES, A RECOUNT THERE MUST BE! I'll be damned if I'm gonna eat another stale donut. Brownies are better! Brownies are square! And that bandaid that prevented your blood from draining out of your body and leaving you for dead, now what shape was it? Was it a circle? NO. Was it a square? Kind of. Case closed.
    Good day now.
    Cheers,
    Robyn still fighting for the Square

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  17. Sorry TS. The bribes I received were not high enough for a recount. They were only enough for me to swing the competition in favor of Septagon, and to buy myself a new car. Turns out I bought the car first and didn't get back in time to cheat. (Sorry Septy.) So I'm afraid Circle is going to have to remain the winner. The paper certificate has already been printed out with "Circle" written on it. So there's absolutely nothing that can be done, I'm afraid.

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  18. I hope circle shoves it in elipses stupid face!

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  19. I am sorry I have left you a comment which has vanished!

    I am for CIRCLE shape: life and time are circular, the tummy of a pregnant woman and my heart.

    Hugs

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  20. Circle had all the breaks. Square had to work for every damn thing he got and that is how 'the man' gets ya. I demand a recount.

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