Thursday, April 15, 2010

Myspace Time Capsule

I'm on antibiotics currently (nothing serious) and haven't really written much this week. So I figured this was the perfect opportunity to do another look back to my blog on Myspace from way back when. Most of it was mindless insanity (the best kind of insanity) and the occasional story. Pretty much it was just read by a few friends and family. Yes that is my justification for reprinting material.

Today's entry comes from May 14, 2007, and since my mood was 'sick' it seemed appropriate.

Beauty and the Beast
Current mood: sick
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Earlier today I was at work. Random ideas colliding into random trains of thought brought to mind a question.

In the disney cartoon, Beauty and the Beast, the annoying tea cup Chip behaved as a clueless child.
In one moment his mother the tea pot sings "there maybe something there that wasn't there before" refering to the blossoming love between monster and girl. Chip's response is to question and say "What's there momma?" to which she smiles and says "shh, I'll tell you when you're older."

So what's my point?

Simply this; Chip had to have been born after they were already transformed into househould objects. First there's the time frame. Chip is about 8 years old, yet Lumiere clearly sings in Be Our Guest "Ten years we've been rusting"
But I can over look that for the moment, purely because the rest of them don't seem to age properly under the curse.

What cannot be overlooked is Chip's innocence. If he was transformed with the rest of them at a young age, even if his body didn't age, his mind would have. As was so clearly demonstrated almost 30 years ago by V.C. Andrews in her Flowers in the Attic series.
For sure there is no way, that while in an eight year old body, that the 18 year old kid would have no concept of love. Especially when you take into accounting the peep show that Lumiere and the french tart of a feather duster were always putting on display.

So even if all this is true, what difference does it make?
Well I can accept the curse. I can accept them all as various utensils and kitchen apparatus. What I cannot accept is how a teapot could, 1. get knocked up, and 2. deliver a child.

Maybe someone can shed some light on it. I just feel lied to.

No one ever did answer this question. A few people called me crazy. A couple asked me if I come up with this stuff just to annoy them. But not one legitimate answer.


  1. This cracked me up. I agree. I get hung up on a lot of little things in the movies. When they miss tiny attention to detail, it ruins the whole thing for me.

  2. i totally don't have an answer for you either.... i'm sorry. i wish i could help.... teapots humping each other.... is the spout the birth canal? i'm not entirely sure....

  3. and i totally have no idea about all that age stuff.... i think i was 9 the last time i watched it.... which reminds me of my beauty and the beast diary out in my "keep sake/memory" box.

  4. Ah, but Chip has stuck inside your brain all this time, s o perhaps his evil plan of just pretending not to have matured has worked!

  5. I seem to remember a large shiny coffee urn hanging around the area back then...
    Probably not, back in those days "cross dish and untensil breeding" was strongly frowned upon...

  6. This movie used to upset me immensely, for the exact reason you have said.

    Tea pot sex.
    There could be a market for that.

  7. LMAO, I never even gave that a thought. What I couldn't get over was the beastiality... Belle falling in love with bigfoot.

  8. P.S. Hope you feel better soon

  9. I admit that I get hung up on that point myself.

    The conclusion I have drawn is that there was so little going on in the castle until Belle and her Dad showed up, that it was as if time stood still. Even if Lumiere the candlestick was getting his end away with the featherduster maid, Chip may have missed out entirely on any kind of education in romance.

  10. This is proof that watching Beauty and the Beast is way better when you're stoned. Hey, hope you feel better.

  11. Hey TS,
    What antibiotics are you on, and can I have some?

  12. LOL Robyn, trust me, you don't want this stuff.

  13. Least favorite piece of crockery EVER! And that list includes the beer mug from "Mr Mug Goes to Whiteytown". That guy was racist, homophobic and tubercular.

    I find it's not wise to look to deeply or to question Disney logic. They have a habit of killing off the moms pretty quick in their films.

    That is a message to all you kids out there - ask questions and your mom goes away.

    Now I know the DISH ran away with the SPOON but I always figured the Teapot was artificially inseminated by some teabagger (see what I did there?)

  14. They were all frozen as they were at the time of the transformation. They didn't have any reason to change until Belle arrived.

  15. Megan, They weren't frozen, the whole be our guest song mentions the fact that they've been moping around the castle without a purpose. Plus the whole point of Beast is that he watches time pass waiting for someone to fall in love with him before his birthday.

    So mentally they would have grown.

  16. I thought the rule was that all Disney Movies are far better if you are high. LOL. Get well soon!

  17. Sorry I have no answers except for bad continuity which I notice all the time which makes my husband crazy because it completely ruins films for me.

    I have to say, however, that I love how you managed to compare Disney's Beauty and the Beast to one of my favorite (if warped) series -- Flowers in the Attic. Nicely done!


  18. My only comment:
    I love the Flowers in the Attic series. Great horror, terrible treatment of the kids...fantastic story.

  19. TS, this is all very simple, and easily explained. Yes, you probably have the ages right, and they would have progressed mentally. You're almost definitely correct on all counts. What you're missing is the fact that Chip fell down the stairs, soon after being transformed (you try and walk with no legs). That's why he has the chip/crack on the side of his head/cup. And the fall gave him brain damage, and left him at an 8-year-old intelligence level. It was a sad back-story, so Disney chose not to tell it, but it explains everything. I hope that helps you, because teapots can't give birth. That would just be silly.

  20. If chucky and his bride can have sex and have a kid to make another bad movie then a teapot surely can give birth.

  21. Listen, when youve been cursed in to a beast and sentenced to an isolated castle, sometimes a tea kettle starts lookin goooood

  22. Great post! That feather duster was such a floosie!


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