Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Review: Booster the Librarian

In the small city of Goodlettsville, we have a library that can only be described as miniature. Actually I suppose there a whole host of adjectives that would fit. Tiny, small, teeny, unbig... the point is it's not the hugest of libraries. But this doesn't matter because all of the libraries in Davidson County (Nashville area) are all connected. Which means as long as something's in the system I can either drive to another library to pick it up, or else have it sent to my library within a couple days. So finding what I want really isn't an issue.

What does get to me is that possibly because of the size of the place, our library seems to be a training ground for librarians. When I first started patronizing the establishment several years back, there were three working there at the time. A nice, young, pretty librarian; a chubby elderly white woman, and an elderly black woman who seemed to hate me before I'd even introduced myself. It wasn't my imagination either. She'd be all smiles with the person in front of me in line and then as soon as I walked up the smile would drop like a brick. Soon however they were gone, replaced one by one by a new crop.

The next batch featured one of my favorites. She reminded me a bit of one of my older sisters. At the time I was always checking out classic movies (I go on kicks where I gots ta watch me some Cary Grant, Gary Cooper, Danny Kaye, Jean Arthur, and all the other old stars) and she was nice enough to suggest me a movie. When it turned out it wasn't in the system, she kindly lent me her own copy. Very sweet. She's long gone from this miserable outpost. Although she does occasionally fill in for someone here, but that's rare. A couple of times I've visited other branches and seen her there. We chat happily for  a few minutes.

After the crotchety black woman left, her spirit seemed to reside in an old white woman, who picked up the same 'hate you alone in this world' attitude that I was afraid would be gone forever. I'm so glad I could once again inspire such unbridled hatred. I actually had it out with her at one point. I can't remember what it was over, just that she was being particularly stupid. Another librarian had to come in to mediate. Soon after she was also shipped off. The spirit of anger seemed to vanish from the premises and without bloodshed to boot.

Then came a dearth of notable book pushers. Just faces that meant nothing. This lasted for a good while until Booster showed up. At first he just did the restocking of shelves. He didn't really have any interaction with the people other than to answer a query as to what shelf a book was on (as if with 10 sections you couldn't figure it out). I should also add that his name obviously wasn't Booster, but I must respect Booster's right to privacy and thus have christened him so. Why Booster? Cause it inspires awesomeness.

When he did finally move up to checking people out I got on well with him. He had a sick sense of humor that I enjoyed. Booster was also a bit of an ass (in the good way) and would have all my holds already checked out of the system before I could even come to get them. On one occasion when I came in to pay my late fees which I had amassed over a year or so, amounting to $19.75 -just a quarter under the libraries must pay limit- he looked up at me and said, "why? you don't have to pay till you've hit that last quarter."

It wasn't long before he'd slid up the library rank to where he was more and more in the back, handling affairs there, while a new crop was being developed. Still I saw him on occasion and chatted here and there. But now it seems he's gone too. It's been a couple months since I last saw him. With the new self checkout I hadn't realized it until I had to tell the new head librarian about a scratched DVD.

She's been around for about a half a year. Started out the same as the others, pushing the cart around. I didn't like her from the start. She is to my estimation, Sunday school in a a body. That slight pomposity mingled with an air of superiority, and one of those short, spiky, I'm-a-hip-woman-of-God haircuts. I've been to a lot churches in my life and there's always at least one of her working in the nursery.

Now, I have an excellent vocabulary. It's something I've always prided myself on, as well as something that alienated me a bit when I was in grade school. This doesn't mean that I feel the need to walk around spouting off like a human lexicon. I enjoy language and all the goofiness that comes with it. I freely admit to being the type to use dude as an interjection, and on occasion, as a verb. Having lived all over North America, picking up various local slang and proclivities, I've come to believe that speech is something to be enjoyed. Not something that's utterly detrimental to get just right. So you can well imagine how much it irritates me to have some stranger correct me.

See I lightheartedly commented on the DVD, stating "it's well scratched up." Having been watching some Brit TV recently (shocker right?) I've been using a bit of Welsh slang here and there, and being part Welsh myself, I felt it my duty to attempt the accent. The librarian then repeated what I said to herself before going off on a diatribe about why it was not proper English. Needless to say, I was somewhat displeased.

So it seemed right that I should review ol' Booster here. I don't know in what library you're serving right now, but you are missed.

8 out of 10 ( he loses a couple points cause even though it was funny, he was still an ass checking my stuff out  ahead of time.)

As for the one inspiring the bitchiest version of Pygmalion I've ever been privy to, a very ignominious -1 out of 5 


  1. That's a good story about an "odd" group of people. I've spent a fair amount of time in them myself. I love them, but I could NEVER work in one. Much too mellow for me and I'm much too social...

  2. Two thoughts:
    Maybe the reason those couple of librarians hated you was because you did not draw them nearly as exquisitely as you drew Booster.
    And, second, could you please use "dude" in a sentence as a verb? I've never tried that, and can't seem to get it right.

  3. *Ahem*
    "Stop being a wuss and dude up already."

  4. I like going to the library but I will never work there. Some people are just too nerdy and mean because they think there sh*t don't stink. (PLEASE SMELL YOUR POO IT DOESN'T SMELL GOOD). HAVE A NICE NIGHT AND READ A NICE BOOK!!!


  5. See that's why I have Netflix and iTunes. LOL.

  6. I thought of Booster from Jingle All the

    My librarian from HS hated me.
    Prob cuz she caught me looking up porn.

  7. Ha. Good dude sentence up there.

    Awesome post - and it made me realize the definite downside to auto-checkout (which the library I used in California had).

  8. Actually, I think I would LOVE to work at a library...quiet, peaceful, lots of books around. Don't have to talk to people too much.
    (don't get me wrong, I LOVE people, but in my current job, that's all I do, it is a tech support phone job.)
    I would love to have a job where I can just SHUT THE HELL don't like to talk.

  9. My HS librarian was such a bitch on wheels as were her assistants. My aunt is a librarian but isn't bitchy like that. Why am I telling you all of this?

  10. All I can imagine when you talk about the short, spiky, I'm-a-hip-woman-of-God haircuts, is Kurt Warner's wife in the stands when he won the Super Bowl with the Rams.... Google it.... You'll see....

    Why is there so much turnover at your library? I know it's not the most glamorous job, but that's a lot of people coming and going....


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