Wednesday, November 24, 2010

7 Word Weekend Movie Review: Thanksgiving Edition

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

Burlesque - Nothing says Thanksgiving like Aguilera and Cher.

Faster - From the makers of 'Fast' and 'Slow'...

Love and Other Drugs - Tagline: Is love just a blue pill?

The Nutcracker in 3D (limited, Wide Dec. 3) - Another Fanning movie?! God help us all.

Tangled - That's what I call a hairy situation.

What? This column on Wednesday? Sí. Holidays mean early movie releases. 

I've done many a thing that others might question my manhood about. I am a fan of musicals old and new. When I was a kid I used to watch Gene Kelly dance and wanted to be him when I grew up. But I draw the line at Cher and Christina Aguilera. A man must live by his convictions after all, and mine clearly speak out against those two.

Action movies and romantic comedies aside, it is Thanksgiving weekend which is universally (USA) the family favorite time to avoid any meaningful palaver with each other by going out to see a talkie. That means Tangled, which I've yet to hear one bad thing about, should along with Harry Potter rule this long weekend. I've been pretty keen on seeing Tangled myself. It looks to be absolutely hilarious. I don't know about you, but I'm a fan of absolute hilarity.

The way I see it, this is a semi-movie blog, and what would a semi-movie blog be without a semi-list of  movies to watch over the semi-holiday weekend? So here's my partial list for Thanksgiving:

5) Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) - There aren't really that many classic Thanksgiving related comedies, but this is king of that narrow niche. Steve Martin, John Candy, and John Hughes. I'm thankful for comedic genius.

J) Swiss Family Robinson (1960) - I'd be bloody thankful if I got shipwrecked and ended up on an island paradise. Sure you have to fend off the occasional pirate invasion, but we're talking ostrich and elephant races here people.

Steve) Maverick (1994) - Shouldn't we all be thankful for a pairing of Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster that doesn't involve a beaver puppet? Oh, who am I kidding, I want to see the puppet movie too.

2) The Crow (1994) - There's a reason it's called eating crow. I'm thankful for turkeys (not to be confused with the subsequent sequels that followed). I'm also thankful I haven't been killed by organized crime and now have to come back to avenge myself and a dead fiancee. It's a rough gig.

Capra) It's a Wonderful Life (1994) - I will probably watch this film two or three times before Christmas. It's been a quasi tradition in our family to watch it Thanksgiving night. I hideth not my love for all things Frank Capra, but this movie I can probably quote the majority of it cold. And, yeah it's Christmas, but the message after all is being thankful for life. Also, Bert and Ernie were named after the cabbie and cop in the film, so there's that.

Course, In all likelihood I'll probably just watch football this year.

I might yet post this week, I might not. I figure the blogging community should be pretty quiet anyways the next couple days. So to those of you traveling, welcoming family, or nicking off to get some Chinese food in peace while the rest of the country knife & forks their way through a couple stadiums worth of poultry, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.

Keep the antacids handy, and have a great weekend.


  1. See Burlesque makes me think Hipster strippers. Sure they are hipsters but they are still strippers so hmmm. Christina Aligator as a stripper, Mickey Mouse club must be proud.

  2. Maybe I'm slow ... but why 5) then J) then Steve) then 2) then Capra)


  3. Brad, Because it's a semi-list, not a full one. Yoke yoke yoke.

  4. That's a very impressive trivial tidbit regarding Bert and Ernie. I'm inclined to watch the movie, plus Sesame street, now. Have a great, quiet, delicious, movie filled Thanksgiving, TS.

  5. Although I loved the review (as always!), I don't think I'm gonna be seeing any of these moves. Well, maybe if I can see them for free...

  6. I would rather watch the movies on your list any day.

    Burlesque makes me a little angry.

  7. 1. Tangled sounds like something I want to see, too!

    2. I LOVE "It's a Wonderful Life". It's a MUST SEE every year!

    3. ROFL at your Fanning comment!! If I hear that brat scream one more time, I'm going to kick her butt into next year!

  8. I haven't seen the planes/atomobile movie...not bad 4/5... happy thanksgiving...hope your turkey doesn't develop fangs and "bite you".... ;)

  9. I haven't wished for the failure of the movie BURLESQUE since it was called GLITTER. xtina aquilara was once the greatest voice of that generation of pop tarts that came out of the Disney stable along with Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson and before Miley and Selena. Her voice was a magical instrument but she felt that to cut it as a singer she had to go against her talent and slut things up and then bitch in her songs that it was our fault that she is a whore. The road from entitled pop whore to embittered pop cunt is a short one and now I just find her to be jealous and bitter with an over inflated sense of her own talents. For some reason she thinks this will make her a diva - something that is bestowed and not taken. Bitch ain't even diva-lite. Heteromen will hate her, gay men will hate her for thinking she is better than Cher and straight women already hate her for treating her kid like any other kind of Hollywood accessory. I have not heard a single nice word come out of this ditch pig's mouth and I hope she crashes and burns big time then takes a mountain car ride offered to her by Charlie Sheen. She is a pig and I barf at her.

  10. Good list...but I have my own holiday movies that I kick off the season with. It is a personal tradition/absolute requirement that I watch AT LEAST.

    Scrooged - W/ Bill Murray

    The Christmas Carol - W/ Patrick Stuart

    The Grinch - W/ Jim Carrey

    The Santa Claus - W/ Tim Allen

    Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas - Guess who's in this one

    The Jetson's Christmas Special - W/ The Flintones...j.k

    The Flintstone's Christmas Special - See above

    Don't judge me, I love all of the above and I have to watch them all at least once during the holiday season. It's the only thing that melts my icy heart and helps it grow three sizes that day.

  11. Burlesque looks like 2010's answer to Showgirls.

  12. I like what you did with your blog. keep up the good work!

  13. I hear you about Cher and Christine, but I drew the line years ago at Moulin Rouge. Have a happy Turkey Day. Hopefully you won't use my recipe book.

  14. Game Store Guy, That's a good list there. I judge not when a list includes Flintstones. That's a classic and a half.

    Copy, I drew that line too. haha

  15. My wife will see Burlesque and I will again watch Bad Santa 2 or 3 times between now and Christmas. Love the holidays!

  16. Maverick,yes (sigh)...I miss the Mel who was a gambler in a fancy vest,trading quips with Jodie Foster, not the fool screaming nasty remarks at his Russki adventuress over the phone


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