Wednesday, January 5, 2011

10 best ways to do the dishes



10. Set dishes to soak and promptly forget about them.

9. Wash one dish, watch movie, repeat.

8. Two words: Shot put. 

7. Place in front of animals (or in a pinch small children) and let them have at it.

6. Two more words: Clay pigeons. 

5. Turn dishes into an abstract art sculpture.

4. Play an improv drum session. 

3. Blog top ten lists as a way of putting it off. 

2. Wait 15 minutes to see if the world will end so you don't have to, then wait 10 more minutes.

1. Burn down the sink.

27 comments:

  1. I just lay down newspapers and eat off those. When it's toilet time, the newspapers are still there for me.

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  2. Now tell me something I don't know.

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  3. #9 sounds like me, but I like the idea of clay pigeons!

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  4. paper plates or the politically incorrect "get married"

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  5. Oh Melvin, have you been sneaking into the #1 slot of a top ten count?

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  6. Cotton, The movie It's a Wonderful Life was based upon a short story written in a greeting card by a guy who mostly wrote civil war non-fiction. Did you know that?

    Marlene, I have one, but don't use it. Besides, that still requires not being lazy, which is fundamentally the underlying issue behind the post.

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  7. oops. the jcohen7523 comment was me.

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  8. hate dishes but your way is cool :D

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  9. You use dishes? Weird. What about cups? Do you (correctly) drink right from the container or (incorrectly) use a cup? Please tell me you don't use those strange shaped things with handles ... those, uh ... utan, utin, uten, utensils. Yeah, those.

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  10. Burning down the sink is my favorite way. Second favorite: Waiting for them to clean themselves.

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  11. I have two words for you...paper plates.

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  12. #1 sounds like a possible slogan for the dinosaur political party??

    I could definitely picture dinos chanting that.

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  13. my wife likes to cook, but hates dishes. I eat, therefore I wash...
    I know this is sick, but I really don't mind. I wonder why she doesn't do the dishes when I cook?

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  14. Well, a labour intensive third world country has its perks...a part time maid to do the cleaning...feel bad for them but it keeps their kids in school and a roof over their heads...so its a bad compromise I guess...Besides I do clean some of it myself...

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  15. why didn't i ever think to burn down the sink.

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  16. I have two dogs, I like the animal method.

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  17. i love this!!!! we have a dishwasher, but half of the dishes can't be washed in the dishwasher. i'm afraid of ruining them (or the pots and pans, really).... and then it takes too long to fill up.... so i just fill up one side of the sink with REALLY hot water and soap, rinse the dishes in the other side, drop them in the hot water and soap side and leave them.....

    eventually the water turns ice cold, the dishes still need to be washed, and i just leave them there, until jason (or myself) gets irritated enough to actually do them....

    i HATE the dishes.... hate hate hate them.... i hate soggy hands too.

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  18. I hate hate hate doing dishes with a passion. In the six months when I didn't have a dish washer I used only paper plates and plastic utensils. We should all just have replicaters that deal with the leftovers and the dishes at the same time.

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  19. Dude, I hate doing dishes. My husband has this deal where he cooks (uses every plate, fork and spoon he can find) and I do dishes. I'd rather cook to be honest!

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  20. Or just invest in a dish washer and then make a Top Ten List on Ways to Empty it!

    Deborah

    PS When I was in college I knew someone that filled a tub, turned on the shower to wash dishes. Needless to say, I never ate or showered there.

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  21. I like to cover them in a tablecloth and then pull it away quickly to see if they disappear.

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  22. I've had fights with former roommates and the (ex) spouse regarding my dishwashing skills, er, lack thereof. I plan to default to #2 in the future. That one's my favorite.
    xoRobyn

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  23. I tried burning down the sink. My mom got really pissed.

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  24. My mom used to hate how much I manged to get down in between washing each individual plate. It's like for every item I washed, I needed a week vacation. She? Was not a happy camper.

    Oh well! Dishes suck.

    Lorraine

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