Friday, January 7, 2011

7 Word Weekend Movie Review: Season of the Witch, Nic Cage sucks, and my best of 2010

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

Season of the Witch - I say let's just burn Nicolas Cage.

Alternatively Red Mor suggested to me: If you watched Ghost Rider, don't bother

Which I quite liked.

One movie? Must be January.

For awhile January was little more than a dumping ground for pictures that studios either gave up on or never had any faith in. More recently, because of that, it's become a time for throwing out a couple bigger pictures that won't have to compete against any real films. Cloverfield, for instance, did pretty well despite being hated, partly for its release in January (and partly because Abrams is often a better marketer than a film maker). The result is that it's no longer the barren movie watching time it once was. Though it still largely sucks.

Blah blah blah... Nic Cage... Blah blah blah... Who cares... Blah blah.

I think Corrupt Camel really said everything on the subject of Nic Cage in this post. Personally, I do think there's still hope of good films out of him yet, but darn it, Camel's passion on the subject of killing Cage, is just too infectious. 

As it's a quiet week and this column was silent for the past couple weeks I thought I would do that sort of end of the year, best of worst of thing, that probably would have been better last month. Mind you I was busy watching the complete series of Dark Oracle (review next week) and just being lazy in general. So here are my picks, not necessarily reflective of what were the best or worst in terms of quality, but completely biased in every way. I can be objective some other time.

Naturally they're all reviewed in 7 words.

7 Best movies of 2010:

 7. Get Low - Feel good funeral movie of the year.
6. Monsters - Monsters lead such interesting lives, monsters do.
5. Toy Story 3 - Better than two, but still no one.
4. Exit Through the Gift Shop - Vandalism never looked like so much fun.
3. How to Train Your Dragon - Vikings flying on dragons... can't beat that.
2. Despicable Me - Clearly the cutest animated film this year.
1. Scott Pilgrim vs The World - The favorite for all the cool kids.

7 Worst movies of 2010:

7. Dear John - Dear Sparks, I hate you. Sincerely, Me.
6. Diary of a Wimpy Kid - I now hate children thanks to this.
5. Letters to Juliet - Really I'm against any Seyfried postal movies.
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street - I think Freddie Krueger is finally dead.
3. The Last Airbender - Let us all hope he's the last.
2. Grown Ups - Original title, "The Seventh Layer of Hell".
1. Jonah Hex, Jonah Hex - So very bad, I named it twice.

Next week sees the release of The Green Hornet which I'm hopeful will kick some proverbial butt.

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. I never realized January was such a crap month for movies, but that makes sense. January can be officially renamed "Nic Cage Month."


  2. 2010 was a slow movie year for me, I'm behing and really need to catch up. Based on what I have see, I think your takes are pretty accurate (as always).
    As to Mr. Cage...
    I like him okay in quirky roles, but in drama, he me, he's always the weakest link in any movie he's in...

    I don't know why exactly, but I really liked Cloverfield...

  3. You seem to have more faith in The Green Hornet than I do, but at least we share the same love for Mr.Cage. The only Cage I support is Johnny Cage. That groin punch is devastating.

  4. Nicolas Cage really just needs to give up on his career. It's clearly given up on him.

    I am SO SO SO glad that Despicable Me is on your "Best Movies" list. It's maybe my all time favorite. I love it to death. :)

  5. Agree with your choices and your letter to Dear John!
    Don't forget the first Underworld also came out in January, giving us Kate... in spandex...
    Okay, gotta go now!

  6. Sorry I have to go the other way and say I like Nicholas Cage movies, 8mm, ConAir, Gone In 60 Seconds, etc. Sue me!

    I just received Jonah Hex from BB so I'm watching it anyway.

    Halfway glad my Last Airbender wouldn't play the other night even though it broke my steak of seeing all the M. Night Sham movies. Maybe another time.

  7. Nic Cage is one of those actors that suck in this kind of movies because he is not good enough of an actor to convince me he is the character he is playing. It's very distracting. Angelina Jolie and Tom Cruise are the same. Nic can do comedy but him doing historical films is like John Wayne playing Gengis Khan. Don't get me started on his use of accents.

    Great year end reviews in only seven words. Brilliant. Forces you to get to the point (in your great creative fashion).

  8. I keep seeing Despicable Me everywhere and I wondered if it was any good. Glad to hear that I can now buy it! :) (I put a lot of faith in your're pretty much right on the money!)

  9. As a dude I can't believe I'm saying this, but Black Swan rocked. That was 2010. Right?

  10. Best Movies? all those movies suck

  11. '10 was the year of Nic Cage.
    That bad.

  12. I usually don't see a movie unless I buy it for my kids, Toy Story 3 or I rent it on netflix. Anyway, I only recognized 3 movies on your best list so I will have to look into the others, as for the worst, only one disagreement, Diary of a wimpy kid, my 8 yrs old loves the movie, so from a kids point of view, great movie, me, well, I have to agree with you.

  13. Nice post, I never really paid attention to the movies they put out in January, but it seems you're right.

  14. I didn't think Grown Ups was all that bad. Certainly not the worst film. Why isn't True Grit in your favorites? That movie was awesome.

  15. yea, i think ill watch that tonight

  16. Dude, I totally agree. To be honest, I haven't been jazzed about a movie in a while. What do you think about RITE? Looks good or crappy?

    Oh, funny you too hate Nicolas Cage. I just had an argument with my mom about it and said I wonder how he feels that some are bigger fans of his nephew Jason now! She thinks I'm Jason Schwartzman's only fan.

  17. Get monster's toy. Exit. How despicable Scott!

    Dear Diary, letters to a nightmare! The last grown up, Jonah?

    (Please excuse how my brain works.)

  18. 2010 was a slow movie year for me too. I'm feeling sort of bad about it in retrospect. In other news, I'm intrigued with the Green Hornet. I have no allegiances to the original material so I think my chances of being pleased with the movie are good.



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