Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, Happy Feet Two: Weekend Review

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

Happy Feet Two - Proposed tagline: You won't believe the bloodshed!

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - Would someone please kill the spare already?

The Descendants (limited) - Oh, it's not a hillbilly horror film.

Someone linked to one of my reviews in the external review section for a movie on IMDB. Kind of cool. Almost makes me wish I put more effort into writing the real reviews. But then I remember how much I enjoy trailing off and...

If you didn't get the joke for Twilight, don't worry about it. I was showing my geeknity (geekness... geeknosity?) and playing off of a Harry Potter quote. I suppose at this point one expects everything I have to say about Twilight to have been said. Sure it would be easy to poke at the horrible wooden leads and the terrible, terrible writing. I could rehash how the books and films have mutilated the vampire mythos. But honestly, I want to see the last films. What? You who've hated on them for so long? What could you possibly want to watch them for? It comes down to the book. If you haven't read or heard what happens in the last book, it's possibly the most insane plot ever. 

Just a quick rundown, Bella and Edward get married, he impregnates her with a vampire baby, that cracks her spine and near kills her while being born. In order to save her life, Edward makes her a vampire. All that isn't even the best part. The werewolf Jacob, falls in love with the newborn infant and decides it's his soul mate. I mean, seriously, if that's not the most disturbing, bizarre plot for a young adult book, I don't know what is. Frankly that kind of crazy has to be seen. Though perhaps it would be best to watch it while imbibing some frosty beverage. Last week it was drug humor and now alcohol... I don't know if I like the direction this blog is going. What? Shame on you. I was only talking about virgin Slurpees. If you automatically rush to judgement, maybe you should take some time to introspect. You're right, I'm sorry. That's alright, I forgive you.

Say, you know what's a great trick? Soaking gummy bears in vodka. One for me, and one for my home bear.

I never understood the Happy Feet craze. Something about the advertisements when it came out... I just didn't buy into it. I still haven't seen it. I'm not admitting to anything, but when it came out I may have created very poorly photoshopped pictures of the penguins from the film setting off atomic bombs. I normally love penguins, and everyone knows I view animation as an art form; one I frequently enjoy. But for some reason I just couldn't be bothered. So the fact that there's a sequel out and I couldn't care less should come as no surprise. If you're a parent of a small child, I feel for you. It's like you don't even have an option. My sympathies, truly. If they were to do a sequel to Surf's Up, I would so be on board (pun intended obviously). Now there's an animated penguin movie that's truly brilliant. 

The Descendants. Blah blah blah - George Clooney - blah blah blah - Oscar bait - Blah blah blah - zzzzzzzz...

Okay, so that's probably not entirely fair. Wait, no, it is. Cause even if it is good,-and it probably is considering who's behind it, and the early word- the above blah blah blah's are all correct.

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. When I read this I realize how much I miss you posting more frequently. You do make me laugh.
    I'm one of those poor parents that usually has to go to all of those kid movies. Some times they are good but mostly not..sigh...
    I will probably watch the Twilight sequel on DVD as that is how I have watched all of them.
    And I totally though The Descendents was a horror film when I saw the Happy Friday!!

  2. That is a messed-up storyline for a young adult series.
    Didn't like the first Happy Feet. Too preachy.
    Another dull weekend at the movies...

  3. I was introduced to the wonder that is gummy bears soaked in vodka last Halloween. I was horrified at the results the following one should have to see that many colors in their yak!

    I'm also glad you were as disturbed by the plot of Breaking Dawn as I was...This is why I prefer my vampires Sookie-style a la Charlaine Harris/True Blood.

  4. I think the most disturbing thing I read in this post is that it sounds like you've read the Twilight series. Spine tingling.

  5. When I saw the ad for Happy Feet I thought, "Little kid movie." I haven't seen it either. I haven't read the Twilight books, but I do find the movies terribly romantic. There is something there that appeals to some of us ladies. Love the action scenes too. The baseball game is one of my favorite scenes and then the wolves are amazing.

  6. There are penguins and they dance...and sing. What baffles me is that you will pay to see some freaky vampire baby get loved by a werewolf, but you pass on the dancing penguins.

    Add to that, like Camel, I am scared that you know the plot and the dets on Twilight.

    There are times that I feel that I don't know you at all. That hurts, here ---> <3.

  7. @Gwen, Alright, I can't let this go. I hate Twilight, with a flaming passion. I think the plot of the last book is absolutely hilariously weird. I read a synopsis about a year ago when some guy talked about his girlfriend describing the book. For the record, I was being ironic about going to see it. It is far outside my demographic. Namely, a single man.

  8. Just one more reason for me to totally ignore the Twilight series. YA? Not hardly...

  9. I must confess....I went to see Breaking Dawn. My daughter took me as my birthday present. :) Yeah, I'm one of the dweebs that actually loves this series. Really, I do.

  10. I liked the first movie Twilight and hence read the series and only liked the first book....haven't bothered about the orange lenses wearing vampires after that.
    Liked happy two feet too ;)
    do Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving? if so hope the turkey was edible enough.


Related Posts with Thumbnails