New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each
Happy Feet Two - Proposed tagline: You won't believe the bloodshed!
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - Would someone please kill the spare already?
The Descendants (limited) - Oh, it's not a hillbilly horror film.
Someone linked to one of my reviews in the external review section for a movie on IMDB. Kind of cool. Almost makes me wish I put more effort into writing the real reviews. But then I remember how much I enjoy trailing off and...
If you didn't get the joke for Twilight, don't worry about it. I was showing my geeknity (geekness... geeknosity?) and playing off of a Harry Potter quote. I suppose at this point one expects everything I have to say about Twilight to have been said. Sure it would be easy to poke at the horrible wooden leads and the terrible, terrible writing. I could rehash how the books and films have mutilated the vampire mythos. But honestly, I want to see the last films. What? You who've hated on them for so long? What could you possibly want to watch them for? It comes down to the book. If you haven't read or heard what happens in the last book, it's possibly the most insane plot ever.
Just a quick rundown, Bella and Edward get married, he impregnates her with a vampire baby, that cracks her spine and near kills her while being born. In order to save her life, Edward makes her a vampire. All that isn't even the best part. The werewolf Jacob, falls in love with the newborn infant and decides it's his soul mate. I mean, seriously, if that's not the most disturbing, bizarre plot for a young adult book, I don't know what is. Frankly that kind of crazy has to be seen. Though perhaps it would be best to watch it while imbibing some frosty beverage. Last week it was drug humor and now alcohol... I don't know if I like the direction this blog is going. What? Shame on you. I was only talking about virgin Slurpees. If you automatically rush to judgement, maybe you should take some time to introspect. You're right, I'm sorry. That's alright, I forgive you.
Say, you know what's a great trick? Soaking gummy bears in vodka. One for me, and one for my home bear.
I never understood the Happy Feet craze. Something about the advertisements when it came out... I just didn't buy into it. I still haven't seen it. I'm not admitting to anything, but when it came out I may have created very poorly photoshopped pictures of the penguins from the film setting off atomic bombs. I normally love penguins, and everyone knows I view animation as an art form; one I frequently enjoy. But for some reason I just couldn't be bothered. So the fact that there's a sequel out and I couldn't care less should come as no surprise. If you're a parent of a small child, I feel for you. It's like you don't even have an option. My sympathies, truly. If they were to do a sequel to Surf's Up, I would so be on board (pun intended obviously). Now there's an animated penguin movie that's truly brilliant.
The Descendants. Blah blah blah - George Clooney - blah blah blah - Oscar bait - Blah blah blah - zzzzzzzz...
Okay, so that's probably not entirely fair. Wait, no, it is. Cause even if it is good,-and it probably is considering who's behind it, and the early word- the above blah blah blah's are all correct.
Have a great weekend everyone!