Friday, May 18, 2012

Battleship. The Dictator, and What to expect when you're expecting: 7 Word Weekend


New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each


The Dictator - Sppllltttttt! FYI that would be a raspberry.

Battleship - The term 'hell yeah' comes to mind.

What to Expect When You're Expecting - Surprisingly, it's a slap in the face.


Didn't see that one coming did you? Pregnant women never do.*


I've been MIA for about a week due to being under the weather (that's code for passing a kidney boulder... Colorado) which means I wasn't even able to post my obligatory other post I like to get in each week. Oddly enough for some reason though the number of hits increased in the past week. Don't think I don't get what you're trying to say people. You prefer me when I'm not around. That's cold random people. Ice cold. Course I figure it's not real hits anyways. They all come from Google directly without any search term. While the more reasonable explanation is that either it's some spamming thing, or a glitch, I've decided to go with that the search engine itself is just in love with me. I know, it's weird, but the love it feels is real and won't be denied.

Oh right, movies!

This time why don't we play the numbers game? Last week The Avengers dropped by 50%! Poor film only earned 100 million over the weekend instead of the 200 the week before. That's just how it goes. This week it's facing three films all with hunger and drive. Well, sort of. The Dictator came out on Wednesday and should do fairly well. Personally I've long tired of Cohen's shtick. But he makes his films cheaply so it doesn't take much to make the film a success. As far as what to expect when What to Expect When You're Expecting (my sentences are like quilts) comes out... It's the closest thing to a date movie option, so it'll do pretty standard numbers. 

The real question is Battleship. It may be opening this week here but Battleship was actually released to the rest of the world weeks back. It's already done 200 million globally. As far as being profitable, that story's already written. What will be interesting to see is what it does domestically. I've heard a lot of mixed opinions, and pretty varying numbers being predicted. Will it be able to beat the Avengers this weekend? Even if the Avengers takes another 50% dive, that's still 50 million. I want to see Battleship, but I don't think it goes that high. I'm guessing it tops out somewhere around 40. Course the box office likes to spite me, so who knows.

Out this week for home viewing is Chronicle (a truly fantastic film if you haven't seen it) and with its release comes a director's cut.  Which raises the question to me, how can you have a director's cut if it's supposed to be a found footage film? Regardless of that silliness, seriously, if you haven't seen it, seek it out and watch it.

So what are your viewing plans this weekend? 


*I'm in no way advocating slapping pregnant women, merely suggesting that some divine hand does that. It's nature.



11 comments:

  1. I'm not expecting anything from battleship other than being entertained for a couple of hours. It looks pretty exciting to me. Won't be seeing anything this weekend though, I don't think there is a movie theater within 50 miles of here...

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    1. I'd like 50 miles away from anywhere. haha

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  2. Good point about found footage!
    I'm seeing Battleship this afternoon and will be leaving my brain at the door. I don't find Cohen funny at all, although this looks the least offensive of the movies he's made. (Not counting Hugo, where he proved he really can act.)
    Sorry about the kidney stone. And for the record, I prefer it when you are around.

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    1. I agree about Cohen. He's a good actor. I'd like to see him do more drama, less anything that comes to his brain.

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  3. My sister is now living here so I will be going to see the Avengers. She loves action movies and so do I. We'll be seeing Battleship too. Glad you are better. I passed one of those things myself. Not fun.

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    1. That's cool. Some movies (Like Battleship) are better with someone to watch it with.

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  4. Hey, their faces aren't pregnant and that's all that matters.

    So sorry to hear about the boulder. :(

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    1. That's a good way to look at it. lol

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    2. haha that is a great line ...

      I think I may be re-watching chronicle before I check out battleship ...

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  5. I didn't expect them to actually play Battleship in the movie but they do. This is every movie that makes you proud to be an American even though you are not one. That means it's pretty stupid. When you see the resolution to the problem you will roll your eyes, and your head and your whole body down the aisle of the theatre.

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    1. Like Alex said above, it's a film you go into knowing you have to check your brain at the door. I love the imagery of all of me rolling.

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