Thursday, December 31, 2015

Top 10 Things That Happened In Barrensworth, PA in 2015

As the old year expires and the new year gets set to take center stage, we thought we'd look back at some of the things that in 2015, in everybody's favorite town of Barrensworth, PA.

10. Robert and Sherry
After years of "will they, won't they" They finally did. It was a magical moment that we all got to share in as the new couple had their first date and intercourse.

9. Mr. Bogarth's Lawnmower
Who could forget Old Man Bogarth's new riding lawnmower taking off on its own when the handbrake slipped? It was classic small town fun that only killed three dogs before it could be stopped.

8. The Waterford Inn
After the previous owners abandoned the inn due to "paranormal activities" that included the standard bleeding walls and ghost children, new owners Deb and Mike Patel reopened it under the name "Sleep Here."

7. Aliens Attack
In what is sure to go down as the wildest weekend in Barrensworth, this year, aliens stormed the valley village but were ultimately defeated by their small town charm and missile silo.

6. Bruce Denning Disappears
Bruce Denning AKA The Amazing Bruce Denning, performing for the elementary school, did a standard disappearance act. Just a reminder that his wife, The Amazing Ellen Denning, is still seeking any information about his whereabouts.

5. The Mysterious Shoes
Side of the road. Nike. Hardly worn. Size 7. Why were they there? Who did they belong too? It maybe these are questions the small town will have to live with forever.

4. Armistice
While the war between Barrensworth and Easter Island is not officially over, they did reach a milestone this year with a declared armistice.

3. Loulou's Hot Dog Palace
The grand opening was a success!

2. That Darn Cat
The weird cat that belonged to no one and everyone died this past April. Amazingly enough, the day after the funeral, a new cat appeared to take its place.

1. Paradise Putt-Putt Closes
Sadly, it's true, Paradise was closed down. In its place, a glorious new parking lot where children can play was put up.

These are just the highlights of your typical year in Barrensworth. Let's hope the new year brings some excitement.

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