Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Review: Sunkist - in the form of a love letter

Dearest Sunkist,

How I love your oranges. With most other fruits, I rarely care about such things as brand. But your oranges are perfection. For you know how much I truly detest having to deal with seeds in my oranges. Sure there are other seedless oranges out there, but their seedlessness seems like an afterthought.

Then there's the issue of your peels. With other oranges it's the luck of the draw. Will I be able to peel it successfully, or will it cling to the precious flesh? With your oranges I know it'll never be a problem. Even with short nails I can easily tear through the rind without worry of splatter. Maybe once I can recall having had a problem orange. But what is one out of a lifetime of good oranges. Besides which I suspect your jealous competition placed one of their own there to deceive me.

As to the taste; you know well I am quite particular. I don't like mine to be too sweet, and I fancy a slight sour in the back of it. You manage to find me the perfect match, time and time again. Most of the time separating the individual slices is nice and easy. I will admit though that sometimes I do have trouble opening your oranges. They do not always break apart perfectly. But this is a tiny flaw that I'm sure you're just as unhappy about as I am. Cheer up, our little imperfections are what make us great.

While all of this true; how your oranges are the best. You really didn't have to go and get me a hockey card too. It's been years since I bought any cards for myself, and even longer since I bought a food item for the treasure inside. So imagine my surprise to find that you had gotten me a card! It really is thoughtful of you. I assure you, if my loyalty weren't already secured, it is now.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have plans with one of your oranges.




  1. I hate seeds too. Especially in grapes and cherries. The work/reward ratio sucks.

    But here are two things I didn't know:
    1. Oranges come without seeds.
    2. There are name-brand oranges.
    So I thought you should know how incredibly educational your blog is. I have learned things today that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. How can I ever thank you? Do you take cash?

  2. I admire your courage to go on the record about you love for the orange, truly one of our most noble fruits. I admire them because they never stoop so low as to be included in the dreaded FRUIT CUP. They leave that shame to their lesser, though no less wonderful, Mandarin Orange - a mighty name for the lowly Tangerine. Any fruit that is actually a color is either just an arrogant fruit or the first choice of the gods.

  3. Ever have a blood orange? Yummy.

  4. Oranges are my favorite fruit. It is nice to see that someone else appreciates them.

  5. Obviously quite different from this odd video, but the thought of a love letter to food reminded me of this (hadn't seen it in a long time ... bizarre but funny):

  6. Damn, now I have to run to the store. I have no oranges and I have a fresh craving for one.

  7. I love that you wrote Sunkist a love letter! Soooo...what did you and the orange do? *raising eyebrows* LOL

  8. If I was an orange, I would desire to be made into a Sunkist drink. Probably hurt to squeeze squeezed and all but all I would do is rot away anyway.

  9. If there was no Vodka, oranges would be left to rot on the tree.

    TS, I worship the ground you blog on...

  10. How do you, T.S, inspire such blog praise and loyalty? I can be sweet ass funny and the well of my bitterness is filling up fast.

  11. Pat, thank you, you are much too kind. And whereas I rarely drink, a screwdriver sounds pretty good right now. lol

    Cal, I've seen plenty of love given to your blog. It's awesomeness squared, tripled and then multiplied by a thousand.

  12. Can you claim Sunkist as your favorite brand of orange juice? I'm a Simply Orange man.... And recently I find that I enjoy my orange juice on the rocks....

  13. Great site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends!


Related Posts with Thumbnails