Monday, April 26, 2010

The Nursery Rhyme Review: Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie, Puddin' and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away

Stark and tragic words about a sadly fallen boy. The story behind this rhyme is dark and grim, but not one too far from many of our own experiences. Georgie, a quiet loner who mostly kept to himself. Shy and hiding in the back halls of the school, he was often a popular target for bullies. It didn't help matters that he developed an eating disorder as a way to cope. Soon it wasn't just Georgie Porge, that dorky kid. It was Georgie Porgie, the pudding porker. 

Unfortunately packing on a few pounds doesn't make you less human. He felt the emotional nails tearing into his heart. Worse still, he had a thing for a girl in his class. He'd go home at night and think about her, fantasizing about her noticing him. Life however isn't some movie where the weird outcast gets the girl. He'd spend every recess trying to get up the nerve to tell her but then bail at the last moment.

And then one day Georgie and the girl managed to be alone together out in the yard. Summoning all his courage he approached her. Staring straight into her eyes for the first time was too much for him. Not to mention the clear disgust she had for him. So when she finally blurted indignantly "What do you want Georgie?" he did the first thing to come to mind; he kissed her and ran.

So now the full picture is painted. You can easily imagine her scream of protest followed by all the other students streaming out to see what is happening. That's when the teasing really kicks into gear. One of the more clever jocks creates a rhyme about the incident. Quickly it spreads across the playground like wildfire. Georgie can only cower in the shadows horrified as the rhyme eventually catches on with the nation before leapfrogging to other countries. 

You want me to tell you he grew up and made a success of his life, even going so far as to marry the girl turned woman from the playground. Sadly this is the real world. Georgie never pursued academia beyond grade school. He went to work with his father the butcher; learned the trade and took over the business when his father passed. Tragically he also inherited his father's inclination towards inebriation. At the age of 42 his liver gave out. His only request, that he be buried in an unmarked grave.

Nursery Rhyme Rating: 0 out 10 


  1. That is possibly one of the most depressing things I've ever read. And yet, I'm still somehow entertained?

  2. This is pretty darned genius in my opinion.

  3. How morbid! I didn't like the one on Humpty Dumpty or Jack and Jill either.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  4. Nice to turn an innocent rhyme into a tragedy. JK :)

  5. I'm moved to tears, but I don't blame you. You just brought dismal clarity to an otherwise dismally cryptic rhyme. Afterall, what we imagine is usually far worse than the real thing - when details are withheld. Usually.

  6. Thanks to you, I now question all that I held dear as a child...

  7. The first thing I want to say is that it's the cutting edge graphics that brings me to your site. I can barely tell the difference between them and live action. Bravo.

    I am a portly fellow myself but that doesn't give me the right to just jump some girl in the playground - Georgie is a serial offender who needs therapy or shots that control his urges.

    What is wrong with some flowers? Talk sweet to her, take her out to dinner?

    If he became a butcher we know what was really going into those meat pies - especially when the prostitutes started to go missing in his neighborhood. Damn corrupt cops looked the other way for years in exchange for those great bratwursts Georgie would slip the cops who visited his shop.

    Let's just agree that he never had a chance. Poor bastard just wanted to be loved.

    (oh and Cotton Blossom's comment was pure genius. What IS wrong with you?)

  8. Am I supposed to feel bad for the George kid we all used to pick on - with this very same rhyme? Nah. I don't. Cuz MY George was a mean bully and he deserved it.

  9. George has deep-seated psychological problems and deserves our pity.

  10. that is a sad story. I had no idea of the ramifications of a nursery rhyme gone wrong.

  11. One part you left out was that with all of his running away, he became a track star, and won the Toledo Marathon in '87. But with stardom came drugs and alcohol, which you mentioned, and eventually he couldn't even get on Dancing With The Stars. But he'd appreciate being featured in one of your posts, I would think.

  12. Hmmm.... I always saw Georgie as a bit of a pervert.... Then the boys in class were coming out to 'play'.... Play = Beat the crap out of him for being a threat to the girls in the class....


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