Monday, June 21, 2010

Ask a Cupcake Named Ted

Dear moth ridi- er, Ted,

I was recently faced with the life altering announcement that my wife of 23 years would be leaving me. I feel like my whole world is shaken and I'm not sure what to do with myself anymore. I rattle around an empty house -since she took the kids. I don't seem to be able to -wait am I really writing to a cupcake? Is this a joke? What happened to the moth?

Sincerely,
Heartbroken and confused about the cupcake in Seattle


Dear Heartbroken,

A sudden end to a relationship that has gone on as long as yours can be a tearing experience. I don't doubt that you're feeling disorriented right now. You're probably feeling like you don't know your up from down. All I can tell you is to just take it a day at a time. Right now you need to learn to breathe again. And don't go eating sweets as a means of trying to fill the void. Cookies, candy and especially cupcakes are not the way to go. In fact a diet would make you feel better in the long run.

Sincerely,
Ted the Cupcake.

15 comments:

  1. Ok, now is the cupcake dispensing that sort of advice because he doesn't want to be eaten? Valid question.

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  2. I agree that just taking it one day at a time and doing the best you can to cope with your feelings, the silence in the house can be overwhelming sometimes and if the silence gets too loud it can be calmed by the taste and loud scream of a cupcake :^0

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  3. Ted is not telling you the truth! Get yourself to the candy counter immediately!

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  4. The cupcakes that come to my house don't get the chance to spill out self-serving advice....

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  5. Again with the poor advice from these baked goods. I remember a time only insects gave relationship advice. If you don't want me to lick you don't come at me with your ice sugary goodness. Same advice I give to all the ladies I know.

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  6. I'm with Bossy Betty. EAT!!!!

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  7. I'm not taking any advice from a cupcake. I only listen to actual cakes.

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  8. Ted is the wisest of cupcakes.

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  9. If Ted is so wise then how did he END UP IN MY BELLY!

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  10. Cal, You ate Ted?! You monster!

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  11. my letter to ted would go something like this, "dear ted, i want you bad, you are so yummy. damn diet!" cute!!!

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  12. That bitch of a cupcake knew what he was doing when he tempted me with his icing hat.

    He could have went plain, pretended he was a muffin but NO - he had to put on airs and act all posh. Welcome to the jungle. We go fun and games.

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  13. There's no way I can comment on such weirdness...cupcakes don't talk, ya'll! I don't even think they can read.

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  14. Oh they can read. They pretend they don't know how to so you will fill out applications for them. They are just lazy, lazy baked good.

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  15. Wow, Ted the cupcake is really underselling himself, there is nothing a little cupcake action cant handle

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