Friday, July 23, 2010

The 7 Word Weekend Review: Salt, Ramona and Beezus, and the Russians

New Movie Releases Reviewed in 7 Words Each

Countdown to Zero (limited) - In short, we're all going to die.

Farewell (limited) - Pretty much 'Countdown to Zero' part one.

Salt - Pretty much 'Countdown to Zero' part deux.

Ramona and Beezus - What do you know... Not about Russia.

Salt... Salt... Angelina Jolie... Hey, Inception did pretty good last weekend. If you haven't seen it or were waiting out the crowds, why not check it out? DiCaprio... awesome effects... great story... no lead actress who looks like she has a butt for lips... feels like a win to me. 

Okay, so granted I'm not what you would call a traditional Jolie fan, what with my not being able to stand her and thinking that she sucks the energy out of every scene she's in.  However, several years ago one of my sisters pointed out that her lips looked like a butt. It's one of those charming images that stays with a person. Certainly didn't help me on the liking her front. While all this is true I rarely let her get in the way of watching and enjoying a film. In the case of Salt, I just have no enthusiasm for it. Oddly enough I suspect it comes down to the title itself. Salt just comes off cheesy and hackneyed. Plus the marketing didn't help. The 'Who is Salt' campaign completely underwhelmed me.

I bet you thought I was joking about the first three movies. Well alright, half joking. But seriously I have to wonder if this was planned. Countdown to Zero is about the cold war and how the world is in more danger from the nuclear threat now cause of how it's spread out then it was decades ago. Farewell is based on a true story of a spy during the cold war. And Salt is about a CIA agent who everyone suspects is a Russian spy. It's like they're trying to tell us something. Possibly about our future. Possibly, that there is trouble ahead. Or maybe, just maybe it's...


That's right, that little trouble maker who lit up countless (technically counted) numbers of books with her mischievous ways is back. I'm not saying she's accidentally going to blow up the Kremlin or something like that. All I know is that in a weekend filled with the cold war, Ramona seems like the wrong person to put your trust in. You want to know who Salt is? Ramona, that's who. FYI, I admit I read a couple books in the series when I was a kid and I probably will watch the movie after it leaves theaters.

Which leads me to a good question for the weekend. There have been a lot of theatrical adaptations of children's books. Some great like Holes and Where the Wild Things Are. Some not so great like The Cat in the Hat and Series of Unfortunate Events (which still pains me since I loved the books).

So my question to you for the weekend is, what's your favorite movie adaptation of a kid's book?


  1. Jolie is a big dumb head and bugs me. Glad to hear our prejudice lines up here. Ha.

  2. I am the same way about her. She confuses me. I don't like her and I know why I don't like her but part of me DOES like her but I can't explain why that is. She is just too much of a Cruise or Cage to really be believable as any character, especially a butt kicking spy that weighs all of a hundred pounds. I don't buy it. And when every review tells me that the outrageousness and unbelievability of all the scenes is the way I am suppose to enjoy this movie, I sense I am being sold something I don't want. Does that make any sense?

    Besides...I have been waiting for Pamona (which is what we called her as kids watching the great Sarah Polley series) and Beezus for months. If you don't hear from me for a couple of days then that fight I predicted would happen in the theater parking lot with that gang of tween girls DID happen. And I got my ass kicked.

  3. Brad, if only more shared the opinion...

    Kal, I wish you all the best of luck. You should carry a stack of twilight books to distract them with if the swarm is too large.

  4. hahaha.

    i too, have a grudge with jolie.

  5. I still cannot believe that Brad left Jennifer Aniston for Jolie. Talk about trading down...way down!

  6. Ha - her lips look like a butt...your sister was right.

    And I won't see Salt or any other movie with her in it until she sells her rights to Atlas Shrugged to someone who didn't buy it so they could star in it (who isn't a good actor). It's like the Madonna/Evita thing - just cuz you like her doesn't mean you can BE her. And I think that's part of what bugs me about "Who is Salt?"...the answer, obviously, is Tom Cruise. Was it a warm up for "who is John Galt", or just a misunderstanding? (rant ends here)

    I like the most recent "Charlotte's Web" w/Dakota Fanning. It wasn't over the top great, but I liked it. And I'm partial to the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, because it was my favorite series of books growing up.

    Have a great weekend.

  7. I liked Bridge to Terabithia.

  8. i cant lie, brah: my favorite kids book turned movie is harry potter... or any of the multiple alice in wonderland[s] (except for the most recent... pretty much tim burton & i arent on speaking terms anymore)... good post.

  9. The Terminator is my favorite kids' book turned movie.

    Second favorite would have to be Bio-Dome

  10. The weird thing about Salt is that most of the reviews for it have been pretty positive, but because the trailers and ad campaign have been so underwhelming, I bet it massively underperforms despite its quality.

  11. Wait is this Salt or Tomb Raider 3? Great Weekend Update as always.

  12. Think I will wait for DVD or cable for Salt. But yes Inception was INCREDIBLE!

  13. It's about time we brought the suspicion back the Commies!!! Just kidding. Ivan Drago forever.


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