Saturday, January 19, 2013
Ask A Moth Riding A Cow 1/19/13
I understand that you went into hiding a couple years back after all the advice columnists were being killed off by some unknown forces (and the food chain), but I desperately need some advice. Now that Dear Abby has left this world for the sweet hereafter, I don't know where else to go. About a week ago I "borrowed" my sister's wedding dress for a costume party. Safe to say you can cross some guy barfing on me, off my bucket list. I tired cleaning it soda water and bleach but that didn't seem to help. Plus I used too much bleach and as a result, there are some small holes in the lace. What should I do? Her wedding is in two days, I don't have money for a new dress, and if I did, it was a designer. Should I just be honest with her?
Wedding Blues in Minneapolis
It is true that cow and I went into hiding years back when we noticed the life expectancy as columnist was 3 posts. I am however writing from a safe location. Reading of your plight has roused in me the desire to help people once again, and for that I am grateful to you. Now to your problem; run. Run as fast as you can. Run like your life depen- No, let me rephrase, your life depends on it. Cause even though you're sisters, a bride will kill you.
Marty the Moth
P.S. I'm not in anyway joking. Leave this moment.