Monday, June 24, 2013

Letters To Superheroes: Issue #4 - Aquaman

Dear Mr. Aquaman,

We have reviewed your letter regarding our various oil spills over the years. While we of course understand your concern, we have researched the matter greatly and have found no link between your type of cancer and unrefined oil. We do however wish you the best of luck with your treatments and hope for a speedy recovery.

To the issue of a possible lawsuit, we would caution you to reconsider before seeking any legal recourse as it would not be in your best interest. Since Atlantis is not a recognized nation, you live in what is considered international waters. As such a court would not be able to proceed with a suit. If you lived in pretty much any other country in the world, there would be ways to pursue it. Really though, as it stands, you would just be wasting a lot of money.

As you know, we are committed to correcting the mistakes we've made in the past. This has included spending millions of dollars on cleanup and helping support local fisherman. Just to show you there's no hard feelings, we're sending you a coupon to enjoy seafood at a local port town restaurant. If you'll please note, it's good for one free entree with the purchase of an equal or lesser entree.

I trust this will conclude the matter.


Earl J. Dukeston
President of Dukeston Oil

1 comment:

  1. HA! This is really good and very funny Tim!
    Unfortunately, this stuff happens.


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